[S7E1]: Dirty Thirty
Lorelei is at the Finale party, she is emotional and pointing her finger at someone we can’t see.
Lorelei: “You be careful, you be very fucking careful. You’re not my fucking friend! You can fuck off, go to hell, slip, fall, and I don’t give a shit!”
The camera pans to Mona who is behind Lorelei; she looks shocked.
At a Vegas pool; Monsè, Mona, Grace and Lorelei sit together on chairs in a cabana in the middle of a serious conversation. We hear music from the DJ in the background. Mona looks shocked and clings to her phone, close to her chest.
Monsè: “Oh my God, are you serious?” She looks to Grace.
Grace: “Oh my God.”
Lorelei clenches her teeth and sinks into her seat.
Lorelei: “Oh. My. God….”
Mona: “Holy shit, should I bring this up to her?”
The girls all look at one another, worried.
Grace: “Either way, it won’t sound great. She’s a loose cannon.”
Sheridan and Jac are walking around a beautiful highrise apartment.
Sheridan: “I’m going tonight to keep up appearances. I don’t let these petty bitches win.”
Jac: “Well, I guess you’ll be flying solo chica. Because I refuse…” She looks angry.
Sheridan: “You don’t want to go?” She laughs a bit.
Jac: “Absolutly not! Not after what happened in Bali.”
The camera pans to Sheridan who makes a face.
The ladies all sit around in an airport lounge.
Sheridan: “I need closure to what you did to me before I fly anywhere with you.” She looks to Bree.
Victoria: “Hhmp!” She turns her head, sipping her mimosa.
Lorelei: “Wow.” She sighs.
Sheridan: “I won’t be flying anywhere with Bree Bailey unless I receive an apology…a genuine one for what she did to me last year.”
The camera pans to Bree.
Music plays as we see shots of the beautiful Beverly Beach. Downtown Beverly Beach is decorated with lights, garland, and holiday decorations.
We see the luxury stores busier than usual with people shopping for Christmas. We now get a shot of the beach.
Sheridan sits under a cabana on the beach, she shivers a bit as the wind blows.
We see there is a table set up with four places, across from Sheridan a blonde woman sits but we can only see the back of her head.
“Let’s get Season 7 poppin’!” She laughs. “I’ve invited Grace and Yvonne out for lunch out on the beach in front of my house today to catch up with each other and to introduce them to my good friend Jac!”
The camera pans to reveal the woman sitting across from Sheridan; Jac Carter (Ladies of Twitter S3–7, S10–11, & Legends of Twitter S1).
Sheridan: “Oh! I’m a bit cold.”
Jac: “Oh, honey. Once the sun comes out from behind the clouds, we’ll be fine!”
Sheridan: “Thanks so much for coming today! I can’t wait for you to meet Gracie and Yvonne!”
“Jac and I met through being inducted into the Inaugural Bravo Twitter Hall of Fame. We are two of five along with Alexis Benton, Trecina Spice, and Billie Reed.
Jac and I instantly became close because we are very similar and have the same sense of humor. We love to troll via social media.”
We now see Grace and Yvonne as they walk together along the beachfront towards the cabana, Grace trudges in the sand and looks down.
Grace: “Oh, Jesus….this sand!”
Yvonne laughs and holds onto her.
Yvonne: “I’m living for this beach breeze though, honey!”
Sheridan grins and gets up as Yvonne and Grace approach.
Sheridan: “Hello, divas! I’m glad you made it out to the beach this afternoon — Yvonne and Grace do you all know Jac?”
Grace hugs Sheridan and smiles and looks at Jac.
Grace: “I don’t believe we’ve been introduced before, no! I’m Grace Faroe, it’s lovely to meet you.”
Jac gets up as well and hugs and gives Grace a kiss on the cheek, then Yvonne.
Jac: “LADIES! How are you? So nice to meet you two.” She smiles and the girls all sit again.
Yvonne: “Is she one of those Ladies of Twitter that went off on me on social media?” She gives Jac a look, then laughs.
Jac: “Oh, I’ve definitely had my opinions about your little group of friends.” She giggles.
Yvonne: “All in the past.” She shrugs and pours herself a cup of water. “It’s a nice day and you look nice, I look nice, let’s just start new and fresh.”
Jac: “Oh, you do look stunning Yvonne. That yellow pops on that beautiful skin of yours.”
Yvonne: “Thank you, honey. I love that bag.”
“I’m not phased by Jacqueline, or any of the Ladies coming after me, it’s no problem for me. People come for me all the time, they just don’t find me.”
Sheridan reaches across the table and pats Jac’s hand.
Sheridan: “Seriously — Jac is amazing though; you know we met and got really close through our induction experience in the Hall of fame. I talk to those girls pretty much everyday, but Jac’s the only one who has my back no matter what.”
We see Grace and Yvonne, nodding and following along.
“My relationship with my HOF induction class is really good well except for with Trecina because she thinks I fuck her brother behind her back — if I wanted to fuck KP I would and she would know it.”
Jac: “So, tell me girls…what’ been happening? I see Sheridan invited only the pretty ladies out today.” She laughs and sips her wine.
Grace: “Not much has been happening, I’ve been so busy with my work and life lately, I haven’t had the time to catch up with anyone!”
Sheridan: “Well I officially have washed my hands of Vanessa and the court case.” She waves her hands with excitement. “Thankfully she’ll be in jail for over a year and I have been receiving payments from her to compensate for what she stole from me. I hope Bree is enjoying visiting her bestie in a jail cell.” She rolls her eyes and picks up a cracker.
Yvonne’s jaw drops.
Yvonne: “How is she ever going to pay you back? No one will hire an ex-convict.”
“Maybe Bree can give her friend a job…do her daughters need someone to spray on their tan for photo shoots?”
Sheridan: “I believe Vanessa filed for bankruptcy. I think that’s why she’s able to pay me back in small payments. As long as the money comes through I don’t care how the bitch pays me.”
Jac: “I hope she has enough money for the commissary though. I’d hate for her not to get her ramen noodles….”
Grace: “I’m just glad you got the closure and validation you needed. You were put through hell and back last year. It was awful to witness, truly.”
Sheridan: “Thanks girls.” She smiles.
“It’s great that the court case has wrapped and I’ve been vindicated but that didn’t come without loss. I lost something I didn’t think I’d lose, but I think it may be the best. Only time will tell.”
“Martin. It makes me sad. I was married to Martin for 7 years and we’ve been in a common law marriage for the last 4 years following our divorce. Who am I without Martin?”
Yvonne: “I wanted to hear directly from you…” She looks to Sheridan. “Are you in a better place with Martin? Your parents told me he wasn’t at Thanksgiving dinner.”
Sheridan: “Well…” She sighs. “We weren’t able to bounce back after all of the drama with the court and the restaurant. We are still business partners; but Martin is officially moving out this weekend.”
Grace: “Wait, what?” She gasps.
Jac reaches across and holds Sheridan’s hand.
“Im devastated….”
Sheridan: “I’m…single? Wow.” She laughs weakly as a tear drops from her eye. “It feels weird saying that.”
Yvonne digs a tissue out of her purse and hands it to Sheridan.
Yvonne: “No need to cry, it hurts now but trust me — you’ll get through it.”
“In the past ten years, I’ve been through a divorce, a public breakup, and gotten into a new relationship. Love isa crazy game, but I really am it’s best player. My advice for Sheridan…keep on keepin’ on!”
Grace: “I’m so sorry to hear this. Truly. You have us all around to support you no matter what and you know that.”
Sheridan: “You know girls; I’m okay. We didn’t work out and I’m accepting it this time. We tried hard. All the therapy we did…this just didn’t work. We aren’t soul mates.”
Jac: “I don’t know about you girls but I was in business with my ex husband. There is nothing more strenuous on a marriage than a business and it’s endless drama.”
Sheridan: “For real.” She looks around the table. “Thank you all for your support you’ve all been there for me and I’ll always cherish your friendships.”
Jac: “I know that this is tough for you my sweets but you’ll get through this. You’ve got so much love and support around you.”
Sheridan: “Thank you, Jac.” She nods and then looks to Grace and Yvonne. “Are you two going to Monsè’s birthday party? I think she’s turning 30?”
Yvonne: “I’m going to follow her head. She was very childish at the Reunion.”
Grace: “I am! Monsè and I have exchanged texts a few times since the Reunion, actually.”
“Monsè and I didn’t exactly hit it off much or at all last year. But, we’ve slowly been making the effort and I have to admit, I’m starting to like her!”
Jac: “Monsè? Oh, she was that little extra that was hanging around you ladies last year, right?”
Sheridan: “Jac! She was the Friend of the show last year, so yes…the extra.” She laughs.
“I’m going to Monsè’s party though I’m not sure where we stand. The way she moved on social media with all the dream team bullshit didn’t sit right with me? Not cool Monsè!”
Jac: “It must’ve been tough for her. Always being on the outskirts looking in. You guys should go though! Let it be your good deed of the day.”
Grace: “I’m definitely going.”
Sheridan: “I will go to the 30 and flirty party but it’ll be weird seeing the 60 year old Bree trying to dress all flirty.”
Grace: “Stop!” She laughs.
Jac: “Oh my favourite! BREE! How’s she going? Has she had the botched cosmetic work fixed?”
Sheridan: “No, she still looks like a blow up doll! I see her feuding with Imani on Twitter all the time!”
The girls all laugh and then they calm down and continue eating the finger food and pour themselves another drink. The camera pans to Yvonne who looks uncomfortable with the silence, she clears her throat.
Yvonne: “Grace, I’ve heard something I think you should know…”
Grace: “What’s that?” She looks at Yvonne, eyebrow raised.
We now see a shot of Sheridan and Jac listening in as well, looking to Yvonne.
Yvonne: “One of your employees confided in me that she saw another employee having sex with one of the women in our group…in your House of Faroe office.” She readjusts in her seat.
Sheridan: “What the hell?” She laughs a bit, baffled. “Nuh uh!”
Jac: “Sex?” She mouths to Sheridan, eyebrows raised.
Sheridan: “I hope it wasn’t on The Faroe’s desk…”
The camera pans to Grace who looks in disbelief, she shakes her head.
Yvonne: “I really feel just disgusted playing the conversation back in my mind.”
“I honestly cannot believe the women in our circle would stoop so low to degrade Grace’s private office like that. The lengths some of these ladies go to to hurt each other is beneath the Beverly Beach I was raised to honor and preserve.
Grace now looks irritated and takes a sip of her drink.
Grace: “Who?”
Yvonne: “You need to ask for yourself, I’ll tell you one thing; It’s not anybody sitting here…I don’t want to get in the middle of you and your business at House of Faroe.”
“I’m absolutely furious right now. How dare someone in this group disrespect me like this and with one of my staff! In my place of work! It’s completely unacceptable. I’m going to find out who it is, believe me.”
Jac: “I recommend taking a box of condoms with you to the party. I hope whoever is hoeing around is at least practicing safe sex.”
Sheridan: “Safe sex is important indeed! Especially when having sex on your friends desks…” She laughs.
Jac: “No more fiery boxes, please!”
Yvonne: “Are they really your friend if they’d fuck on your desk?”
Grace shakes her head.
Sheridan: “Well girls, let’s get into this food I’m hungry as hell!”
Jac: “Oh thank god you’ve had this catered. I thought this little plate of cheese and meat is all you provided us.”
The girls laugh and the scene fades.
We get shots of Mexico and the sun setting over the beach. We get shots of the ocean and the surrounding town. We see a beautiful restaurant set up on cliffs overlooking the ocean. A host is leading Mona and Monsè out towards a table for two, they sit. Monsè looks over the drink list.
Monsè: “Let’s start with some champagne yeah? Finish off the trip the right way.”
Mona: “O-M-G! Yes! Champagne!”
“It’s almost my birthday, bitches! Mona set up a fun girls’ weekend in Mexico. It’s been nice to get away from the group for a bit and focus on what’s really important, like spending time with my bestie.”
Monsè: “Girl, thank you for bringing me on this trip! It’s been nice to just have a few days of girl time.”
Mona: “I know! I love my Monsé time! It’s been a nice getaway for me too, thank god I found someone to watch the kids.” She laughs.
The waiter brings out a bottle of champagne and pours it for them; the girls thank him.
Monsè: “I’m sure you need a break.I know we said we wouldn’t mention the “A” word but we’re back to reality soon.” She sighs and looks to Mona compassionately. “How are things at home? Have you been in touch with Adam at all yet?”
Mona lets out a big sigh and holds up her champagne.
Mona: “I need a drink before I answer that.” She sips. “No. He hasn’t seen me or the kids.”
Monsè’s jaw drops.
Mona: “I STILL have not spoken to him since that day, I’ve reached out a few times with no response. I feel like I should reach out again when I get back.”
Monsè: “That’s such a bitch move on his part, I’m sorry. Like, step up and be a father sir!” She shakes her head. “I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You know me and Gil love the kids too. We’re always here to help out.”
Mona: “I know you two are and you’ve helped so much.”
Monsè: “Has he at least been helping out financially?” She narrows her eyes.
Mona nods.
Mona: “He has been taking care of us for the time being. He doesn’t want the mess of the divorce so he’s just waiting for me to break and then I think he’ll go ballistic…” She sighs and looks around. “I’m afraid what’s going to happen to me and the kids.”
“I know I announced that I wanted a divorce, and…I think I do… But I’m more worried how it’s going to affect my kids. Adam’s not going to stop until he destroys me if I come for any of his assets which our rightfully OURS. I don’t know, is it worth going through the battle?” She shrugs and sighs.
Monsè shakes her head; frowning.
Monsè: “Oh god. That’s horrible, Mona. Let me catch him out in Beverly Beach! I can’t believe we never saw this side of him before. I can’t imagine what it was like for you all those years.”
Mona: “The last few years have been miserable and I’ve just kept a brave face.” She holds back tears. “ I don’t know if I’m ready to move on from Adam or try and work things out… It’s such a difficult situation. Like I’m so conflicted about everything.”
Monsè: “I know, babe. I know it’s hard. But you’ll do what’s right for your kids and it’ll all work out in the end.” She sips the champagne. “And, we’ll get you a hot new trophy husband as a consolation prize!” She laughs.
Mona: “Yassss!” She snaps.
The waiter walks over to take Mona and Monsè’s orders.
Waiter: “What can I get for you ladies?”
Mona: “I’ll do the sea scallops!!”
Monsè: “And I’ll do the Oaxacan tamal soup! Thanks.”
The waiter leaves the table and the girls go back to chatting.
Mona: “So — You’re birthday party with everyone is this week, right?”
Monsè: “Oh, please don’t remind me, girl!” She rolls her eyes playfully and makes a huff. “It has been hectic trying to get everything together. Between work and my in-laws moving in, my brain is exploding.” She mimics exploding with her hands. “Trying to plan everything!”
Mona: “The in-laws! I forgot!” She gasps.
“My father in law has been having some health issues recently, so Gil and I decided to have his parents move in with us… temporarily! Lord only knows how long that peace will last.”
We quickly get a shot of the beautiful restaurant on the beach; we see the breathtaking sunset in the conversation’s backdrop.
Monsè: “So — How are you feeling about all the girls coming to the party? Do you think they’ll behave.”
Mona nonchalantly shakes her head as she sets her champagne flute back down, answering without skipping a beat.
Mona: “Um, no. They never do.” She grins at Monsè: “I’m okay with mostly everyone. I obviously am not huge fans of Yvonne and Grace but I think I’m getting to a better place with them…hopefully!”
“I never know with that bitch.” She sips a cocktail and sets it back down off screen.
Monsè: “I agree! I feel like I’m in a pretty good place with Grace after the last time the group got together. Yvonne.. let’s just hope she will just take the olive branch.”
Mona: “It’ll all be great whether there’s drama or not!”
Monsè: “Well, let’s cheers to that! To a dirty and flirty 30!” She raises her glass.
Mona: “Dirty, flirty, and 30!” She clinks her glass.
“Last year was… a lot. But I finally feel like I’m in a good place with most of the ladies. Let’s just hope the ladies are good with me, because if there’s one thing we’re not gonna do, it’s ruin Monsé’s birthday, okay?!”
The final shot is of the women being brought their food and we see one more beautiful nighttime shot of Mexico. The scene ends.
The camera pans over Sheridan’s multi-millon dollar beach house.
Inside, Sheridan and her mother are talking in the living room.
Sheridan: “Yes, he’s coming by today with movers to get the rest of his stuff.”
Stacy [Sheridan’s Mother]: “I hate this for you.” She frowns and takes her daughter’s hand.
“Martin and I have officially ended our relationship and this time the door is officially closed.”
Stacy: “I still just don’t understand why…” She raises an eyebrow.
Sheridan: “We just could never recover, mama.”
“I forgave for the cheating, love MJ as if he’s my own.” She sheds a tear. “I don’t even know what me and MJ’s relationship will be now I still haven’t processed that…but with what Vanessa did to us and the stupid KP Spice rumor…there was just no trust anymore. No amount of therapy was helping and it’s time to walk away.”
Sheridan’s phone starts buzzing on the table as she gets a call, she picks up her phone.
Sheridan: “It’s Martin…”
Her and her mother exchange looks, Sheridan answers.
Sheridan: “Hello?”
Martin [On the phone]: “Can you get the door? The movers and I are here.”
Sheridan: “Yeah…”
Sheridan hangs up. She gets up, walks to the door and lets Martin and the movers in.
“In our divorce settlement years ago, Martin gave me the home. This is why he’s ultimately the one who is moving out now. It’s bittersweet because I’m closing a huge chapter of my life but I know it’s right.”
The movers begin moving Martin’s already packed boxes out of the living room. Stacy walks over to Sheridan and Martin.
Stacy: “Are you two sure this is what you both want?”
Martin: “Her mind is made up…” His arms are crossed, he can’t even look at Sheridan.
Sheridan: “So is his…” She shrugs and looks to her mom.
The three of them awkwardly stand in silence for a moment as the movers move boxes past them.
Martin: “I only came to show them where the crib was at. I’m going to head out. I’ll see you around at BellCamp or in the clubs or whatever, Sheridan.”
Sheridan: “I won’t be in the clubs, Martin.”
Martin lets out a laugh.
Martin: “Right, girl. I’m sure. I’ll catch you later.”
“While our intimate relationship is shifting to one that will be platonic as partners in our business, it’s going to be an adjustment. I know what clubs Martin likes, so rest assured I won’t be at those.”
As Martin leaves, Stacy consoles Sheridan as tears stream down her face in her mother’s arms. They go back to the couch.
Stacy: “It’ll be okay, baby; you’ll find someone who loves you and won’t hurt you. I know you will.”
Sheridan: “I know, mama. I just…miss my saftey net.”
Stacy: “You have me and your father. You’ll always be our big ole baby.”
Sheridan: “Oh, hush!” She laughs a little.
The scene fades out.
Lorelei is seen walking up to an undisclosed building, she puts on her shades and stands outside the door. She pulls out her phone, giggling.
Lorelei: “This is going to be so funny…”
“I’ve sent cars to pick up Bree and Victoria to come join me at the sex shop in downtown Beverly Beach, but they have no idea where they’re going! I am about to be starting a new business…that’s right! A sex toy line! So, I needed some ideas. I invited my realtor Victoria Franklin because one, she’s hilarious. And two, she just helped Xavier and I close a deal on one of the biggest houses in Beverly Beach.”
We love a good realtor! Victoria really is fun, so I can’t wait for Bree to meet her.
An all black Bentley Bentayga is seen pulling up in front of the black out building. It stops and Bree gets out of the car.
Bree: “Let’s see what all this is about…Hey girl!” She hugs Lorelei. “Where are we?”
“Lorelei invited me to this unknown location…for a surprise! And, apparently she’s invited a new friend of hers.” Her eyes widen. “This is all so secretive, I’m so curious!”
Before Lorelei can answer, a blacked out Mercedes C-Class pulls up, Victoria gets out of the back seat.
Victoria: “Motha is here, chile!”
Lorelei: “Bree, this is my realtor and friend, Victoria. Victoria, this is my bestie, Bree Bailey!” She smiles.
Victoria: “Nice to meet you, my love.” She hugs Bree.
Bree looks a bit taken a back, but hugs her back.
Bree: “Nice to meet you as well!” She makes a little face when Victoria turns around.
“Victoria seems really nice… although I’m not a big hugger, especially with strangers… but she’s Lorelei’s friend so I assume she’s a nice girl.” She smiles.
Lorelei stands infront of the building facing Bree and Victoria, she takes off her sunglasses.
Lorelei: “Ladies, ladies. I’m so glad you both could come out. I know I gave you both minor details and just sent cars for you….” She sighs, turning around. “But follow me, you’ll see in a minute.”
Bree: “You were so secretive! What are you up to?” She furrows her brow.
Victoria is seen as she clutches her clutch tightly under her arm, looking around nervously.
Victoria: “We finna rob someone?”
Bree: “Oh God, I hope not!” She cackles. “Although, I never come downtown.”
Lorelei: “No, no.” She flings open the door to the building, revealing a high-class sex shop.
Lorelei: “WELCOME TO PARADISE!” She claps. “I thought this could be fun.” She giggles.
Victoria and Bree both walk in, looking around and analyzing everything. Bree is shocked at first then turns it into enthusiasm, she turns to Lorelei.
Bree: “Wow, are we looking for something in particular?”
Victoria: “She got us in here searching for penises…” She picks up a large toy.
“If she wanted to visit a sex shop all she had to do was come to my house and open my nightstand drawer…”
Lorelei: “I’m actually looking for some ideas.”
Victoria: “Now is drinks included?” She begins touching things on shelves.
Lorelei: “Well, don’t be shy now, Victoria! When you get loose, the freak comes out!” She laughs.
Victoria: “Yeah, baby, that’s when I’m tipsy! You know I have composure.”
Bree: “Wait, Lorelei —” She touches her arm. “Ideas? For a bedroom or what?”
Lorelei: “Well, actually, no. I’m planning on opening my own sex toy line.” She looks to the girls for their reactions.
Bree: “Oh, wow! Well that’s unexpected, but, congrats!” She looks a little confused.
Victoria: “We finna see you on PornHun?” She says loudly.
We get a shot of the workers at the store looking over, shocked. Lorelei grins at Victoria.
Lorelei: “Hm…Who knows?” She laughs.
“A sex toy line? Wow that’s thinking outside of the box… I wonder what some of the other ladies will think of this.”
“Aw! Unt Unt…nope! I love her to death but no! Lord…she finna be doing photoshoots naked..help her Jesus…”
Lorelei: “Actually, the real reason for me wanting to do this, you guys, is because, you know…” She sighs and her eyes dart away. “I’m going to be 40 this year and I just…I don’t know…I don’t want to, like, lose my sexy.”
Bree nods.
Bree: “I totally get that, as you age you seem to think that you’re gonna lose your sex appeal or wanna dress more modest but honestly fuck that, it’s 2022!”
Lorelei: “You got it!” She points to Bree. “That’s why I’m wanting to do this. I have all these ideas and such.”
I’m all about brands and businesses that empower women. That’s what NUDITY is all about. Sex Toys? That’s female empowerment! Who doesn’t love a vibrator?” She laughs.
Victoria: “You don’t want to lose your sexy?” She walks over to a lingerie set and pulls it off the rack. “Wouldn't this look good on all of us?”
Bree: “Well I’m not a big lingerie fan, I’d rather go commando.” She shrugs.
“What can I say? Bree Bailey loves to air it all out every once in a while.” She giggles.
Lorelei walks around and picks up a rose toy, showing Victoria and Bree.
Lorelei: “Have you guys ever used one of these?” Her eyes widen. “It’s fantastic…One of these bad boys will fix you right up!” She laughs.
Bree: “Oh, I have never… I use the old school classic vibrator, does that mean I’m old?”
Victoria: “I’ll surely take one of these.” She picks one up. “I need to scream to the heavens.”
Lorelei: “Nah uh, girl!”
Victoria: “But — you don’t need none of this!” She holds up her toy. “All you need to do is just get you a pole.” She leans on the counter and the camera zooms in as she jiggles. “Like this.” She stands up correctly. “You just gotta know how to work that, chile!”
Bree: “A…pole?” She looks confused and slightly worried, glancing at Lorelei.
Victoria: “Yes! You can’t work a pole?”
“She hasn’t been on a pole? Lord have mercy! Maybe Lorelei does need to open up this line…who hasn’t been on a pole?”
A worker comes over and walks them over to a little seating area in the store, right off the retail floor. They sit on studded couches and are offered some wine.
Lorelei: “I don’t want to kill the mood, but…have you guys seen the news? About Sheridan?” She looks to Victoria. “I know you’ve heard of Sheridan Campbell?”
Victoria: “Who?”
Bree: “I’d rather talk about the rose clit sucking machine or whatever they got here honestly.” She rolls her eyes and sips her wine.
Lorelei: “Victoria, she’s the owner of BellCamp Restaurant, downtown.” She laughs.
Victoria: “Oh — She cooks? Hm, maybe I’ll rate it on Yelp.” She chuckles.
Bree: “The restaurant that almost closed due to lack of funds last year, you sure read about it.”
Lorelei: “Bree…” She giggles.
Victoria: “Ohhh! Almost bankrupt? Lack of customers? Ah yes. I know her.” She looks down at her nails.
Lorelei: “But seriously, have you seen the news? Like apparently Vanessa went to jail and like her and Martin are finished or something.”
Bree: “I saw yeah, my friends and I actually met up and discussed the whole thing, but honestly I’m not bothered. My issues with Sheridan go way beyond Vanessa or BellCamp.”
Lorelei: “Oh, really? How so?”
“Sheridan, who’s never been pregnant and has no idea what being a mother feels like, talked about my daughters in a sick way. “ There is a flashback to Sheridan accusing Bree and her daughters doing cocaine at the Reunion. “So, I’m not interested in even acknowledging her name.” She stares at the camera.
“I’ve vowed to like completely reset the page with Sheridan. We’ve been at each others throats for over 3 years now and I’m just over it. If she can keep it nice with me, I’ll keep it nice with her.” She shrugs.
Victoria looks between the girls, confused. She pics up her items.
Victoria: “Well, alright! It’s time for me to head on home before I get hot flashes! I’m going to go buy these.” She holds up her toys. “It was nice meeting you Bree! I’ll text you Lorelei!” She walks off.
“It’s best that I leave, I know nothing about Campbell soup nor the ingredients that resides in its life.”
The camera focuses back on Bree and Lorelei talking in the seating area.
Bree: “Well Lorelei, you know me and Vanessa have some mutual friends, and they were obviously shocked by the whole thing. I on the other hand could care less, good for her I guess. I also heard her and Martin are bound to break up pretty soon.” She shrugs. “But, it’s none of my business again.”
We see Lorelei stay silent and she shakes her head, it is clear she is holding her tongue.
Lorelei: “On that note, let’s get out of here too. I think I’ve gotten enough ideas.”
Music plays as we see a decorated, rented out club. We see big “30” balloons. We see Monsè and her husband Gil walking into the venue together holding hands. Monsè’s In-Laws; Mirlande & Samuel walk in behind them.
The camera then shows Monsè and her husband Gil as they stand near the bar as guests start coming in. Monsè hands Gil a drink and dances on him a little.
Monsè: “Babe, sip. It’s my birthday! Don’t be boring.”
Gil: “Fine, fine. One drink.” He laughs and takes a sip of it.
“I can’t believe I’m 30?!” She gasps. “If I’m going to keep aging, I’m at least going to do it in style with this party! I’ve invited all of the ladies, so I hope everyone behaves and has a good time. I won’t be holding my breath though.”
The camera pans to Mona as she enters with a gift, she looks around until she finds Monsè and Gil. She makes her way over.
Mona: “Monsè! Gil! Hey hun, happy birthday.” She gives the couple a hug.
Monsè: “Thank you, girl! Oh my God — This outfit! You’re gonna be doing more than flirting tonight.” She laughs.
Mona: “Girl, stop!”
“It’s a dirty and flirty birthday party and my outfit fits the theme perfectly!” She winks.
Sheridan is the next to walk in, she immediately goes over to Monsè and Mona. We quickly see a shot of Gil who is checking on his parents.
Sheridan: “Hello ladies!”
Mona: “Hi Sheridan!” She waves.
Monsè: “Hey Sher! Thank you for coming, love.” She hugs her.
Sheridan: “Of course I see we all got our little hoochie fits on tonight.” She laughs. “Can’t wait to see what the older girls wear.”
Monsè: “Girl, that’ll be a fun surprise.” Her eyes widen and she laughs.
Mona: “Yvonne’s gonna show up in a nightgown or something.”
Sheridan glances at Mona then looks down. Mona notices and takes a sip of her drink.
“Sheridan and I have barely talked since the Reunion so it’s a little awkward seeing each other again. We’re being civil but I really, honestly don’t know where we stand right now.”
The camera follows Grace and Yvonne as they walk into the club together.
Grace: “Ohh, this is nice! I like it!” She looks around.
Yvonne: “Oh, this is…dark. Maybe I should have worn something brighter.” She laughs.
Yvonne and Grace go over to the girls.
Sheridan: “Gracie! Stunning!”
Grace: “Thank you, Sher!” She hugs her and then goes and hugs Monsè. “Happy birthday, my love! You look fabulous.”
Monsè: “As do you, gorgeous. I’m so glad you could make it.”
“30 and flirty, baby! Oh, how I remember being 30…I was still a boss and I still looked this good.” She winks.
Bree is seen strutting into the club and walking towards Monsè and the girls.
Bree: “Hello birthday girl!” She hugs Monsè. “Looking sexy!”
Monsè: “Yesss, titties! Thank you.”
We get a shot of Yvonne as she looks Bree up and down.
“Unlike one of the other Golden Girls in the group, I’m not going to dress inappropriately for my age. I’m going to perk my tits up, throw on a blonde wig, and keep it moving.”
Mona: “Hey Bree!”
Bree: “Hey Miss Mona! Divorce looks sexy on you!” She hugs her.
Mona: “Oh — Not yet, not yet.” She awkwardly laughs.
“My gosh! Mona looks like she just came out of an early Britney Spears music video! Wow she’s got some confidence!”
“Mona…” She sighs. “The outfit was a choice. You know the girl they talk about in the song ‘Unholy’? The Sam Smith one? The one that Daddy’s getting hot with at the body shop? Yeah… Mona is giving that. But…” She shrugs her shoulders. “It’s cute, for her!” She laughs.
The camera pans to Sheridan and Yvonne who are leaning on the bar towards the back of the group.
Sheridan: “The girls are fake…” She whispers to Yvonne.
Yvonne: “As fake as they come. Let’s try to get a buzz.” She holds up her drink.
Outside of the club, Lorelei is seen exiting her car service and then walking inside; along with a big body guard. Lorelei and the body guard walk up to the group.
Lorelei: “Well, hello, hello everyone. Happy Birthday, Monsè” She hugs her.
“I have hired a body guard, because… I don’t trust these bitches. A lot of them would like to skin me and wear me like last years Chanel and…” She clicks her teeth. “Uh uh. We’re not doing that night.”
When Grace sees Lorelei, she turns and quickly heads to the bar.
Monsè: “Hello, miss thang! Looking sexy as always. Yessss!”
Bree: “Hello, mama! Oh wow, you took the flirty part seriously!” She giggles.
Mona: “Look at you! Hey Lorelei!”
The camera pans to Sheridan who is waving.
“Lorelei and I are taking baby steps.” She laughs. “She got a little wave tonight.”
Grace is at the bar, ordering.
Grace: “Could I get a Grey Goose double, neat, please? Thanks so much.”
Yvonne: “Did Lorelei bring security? To a birthday party?” She leans on the bar, looking at Grace.
Grace: “I don’t know and I don’t really care.” She rolls her eyes and takes her drink.
“I have not seen nor spoken to Lorelei in months. The friendship is over, she made that very clear. I’ve accepted that and moved on. We don’t have to acknowledge each other.”
We now see Sheridan getting down and doing a little side dance on the dance floor.
Sheridan: “OKAY!” She claps and Monsè’s siblings cheer her on and video tape her.
The scene goes back to Monsè and the group of women.
Monsè: “All right, ladies. Let’s grab a drink and sit. My feet are killing me!”
Bree: “Yes, I need a good drink!”
We get a montage of the ladies getting drinks from the bar and heading to a private VIP section in the club, to talk. They sit on the couches.
Yvonne: “Monsè, I heard you were pregnant.”
Grace: “Yvonne!” Her eyes widen.
Yvonne: “Is that how you’re bringing in 30?!”
Monsè chokes on her drink.
Monsè: “Well judging by this strong ass drink, I hope not!”
Mona: “She’s not pregnant.” She laughs.
Sheridan: “Well — Do you want any children, Monsè? Maybe like one day?”
Monsè: “I have a child. He’s 5 and his name is Bastien.”
Sheridan: “Oh!”
“I had no idea Monsè had a child. Maybe she adopted a baby after the Reunion.”
The girls all look to Monsè and she sighs.
Monsè: “But another child…? I don’t know. It’s definitely been a topic of discussion recently but I just,.. I don’t know. It’s a lot of work running a company. And the pressure from my in laws isn’t making things easier.”
Lorelei: “I get that, honey.” She nods to Monsè.
Bree: “Totally, having two kids is a lot more work, and pregnancies are always a challenge.” She nods.
Grace: “It’s definitely a lot when you’re trying to find a work-life balance. Having another child can throw that off completely. It’s a big risk to take.” She sips her drink.
Mona: “Agreed, Grace.”
“Monsè is very lucky to be at a point in her life where her body clock is still in good condition, as far as we know. Thirty is still very young, so she’s got time to decide if she wants to have another child. It doesn’t have to be tomorrow. I’m confident she’ll make the decision in her own time.”
Monsè: “I’ll admit I’ve thought about taking a break from the company. But thats just not me, you know?” She crosses her legs.
Sheridan: “Taking a break to spend more time with your son? I think that would be good…”
Bree: “Well being pregnant doesn’t mean you can’t work, you just gotta take it easier, but it’s not impossible!”
Yvonne: “You’ll never get these years back with your baby so cherish them and make the changes that make sense for you.”
Monsè: “Yeah — “
Mona takes Monsè’s hands.
Mona: “Coming from me, taking a break might be good for you, if planning this party was so stressful imagine another child right now.”
Monsè: “Right, and focusing on my family. You know, in my culture I’m constantly getting shit because I’m a working mom.”
Bree: “Well, but, that’s bullshit! I mean it’s almost 2023! You can be a mom and a business woman!”
“ I just don’t think it’s fair that I’d have to put my dreams and career aside for a child if we went that route. No one’s asking Gil to quit his job. I just.. I don’t know, it’s a big decision.”
“I mean I had no idea she had a son so maybe taking a break from her business….which I’ve heard a lot about…is best.”
Grace: “Working mothers are the new normal now as far as I can see, times have changed. We’re not all in the kitchen cooking souffles for our men or in my case, woman anymore. You do what makes you feel good, Monsè.”
Bree nods to Grace and Monsè smiles.
Monsè: “Yeah, thank you.” She takes a sip of her drink.
We get a shot of all of the women in the booth. Yvonne raises a glass.
Yvonne: “If I can make a toast…”
The ladies look to Yvonne.
Yvonne: “Ladies, raise your glasses.”
They all raise their drinks.
Yvonne: “To the Dirty Thirty, may this year be one of blessings and prosperity for Monsè.”
Monsè: “Aw, thank you Yvonne! That’s really sweet.”
Yvonne: “And to Sheridan for being vindicated despite all the haters. Clink, clink, clink!”
Sheridan: “Amen!! To dirty 30 and proving hating ass bitches wrong!” She cocks her head, smirks, and makes direct eye contact with Bree.
Sheridan: “I hope the visits to prison have been enjoyable Bree!” She downs her drink.
Mona: “Oh boy…” She lowers her glass.
“And they call me messy.” She laughs.
Bree: “Prison visits? You’re deranged, you think me and Vanessa are besties? Please.” She cackles.
Sheridan: “Oh — now that it was proven that she was guilty you’re distancing yourself from your bestie?!”
Monsè: “Shit, here we go.”
“Yes, my toast may have been a teeny bit messy but I wished Monsè well! That has to count for some points toward Heaven!”
Sheridan: “You’re so funny, Bree! It’s great seeing you look like a fool though.”
Monsè: “Have you heard from Vanessa at all, Bree? I mean, you did seem close last year…”
Bree: “Listen — We’re not close, I heard from her right before they got the verdict, and I did talk about the whole thing with our mutuals friends.” She shrugs. “That’s it.”
Monsè makes a skeptical face as Bree turns to Sheridan.
Bree: “I’m glad you’re getting the 500k back cause we all know Bell Camp was bound to close without that money.”
Grace: “You can’t act all non-chalant about it now, come on.”
“Bree is definitely singing a different tune to what she was last year. Afraid of yet another lawsuit, are we?”
Bree rolls her eyes at Grace and downed her champagne.
Sheridan: “Bell Camp was never closing. My business partner, Martin and I are very well off. Very comfortable. Your tune has changed babe. Just admit you look like a fool now that your friend is going to jail and let’s move on!”
Mona: “It never felt like Bree and Vanessa were friends.” She holds a finger up and makes a face.
Bree: “Exactly, Mona. Finally someone here has a brain.”
Lorelei: “Bree, just let the Vanessa thing go, sweetie. There’s no point to argue about her anymore.”
Bree shoots a look at Lorelei; the camera pans to Lorelei as she observes and then we get a shot of her body guard who is standing nearby. Lorelei’s confessional plays as we watch her get up and head over to the bar.
“I’m not getting involved. I just… I don’t want any bad blood with people anymore. Bree and Sheridan are just always going to dislike each other. What am I to do?”
We are now back with the girls as they fight. Sheridan narrows her eyes at Mona.
Sheridan: “Oh, so if Bree and Vanessa weren’t friends you think Bree is just an opportunist who wanted a storyline so she reached out to someone who stole from me?” She raises an eyebrow. “Answer the question.”
Mona: “Um…sure?” She makes a face. “I don’t know what Bree’s intentions were, I’m not Bree.”
Grace: “I think it’s important for Bree to answer.” She looks to Bree. “If you weren’t friends, why did you bring her around this group then? Because I’m confused. It’s blurred lines.”
“Bree’s actions and words don’t match up with each other. This is why I have such a hard time tolerating her. Like, I want to be friends with her and like her, I do… she just makes shit difficult!”
Bree: “Grace do you use some pills or herb? Cause your memory seems to be bad, I said it all last year, I gave Vanessa the opportunity to speak her truth on the show, just like Sheridan did, that’s not being close, don’t be dumb.”
Grace: “You had some sort of relationship with her though, which you’re now denying. That’s crazy to me. You’re expecting us to all have amnesia over your actions but we don’t.”
We see Yvonne crack a smile at Grace’s comment and then look to Bree for her response.
“Oh, this is good! Another point for Yvonne! I didn’t get involved in any mess to ruin Monsè’s birthday. Thank me later, Monsè! I accept all gifts and monetary surprises.”
Bree: “I’m not denying anything Grace, are you dumb or deaf, or both? We had mutual friends, we hung out at events and stuff, it’s not like she’s my BFF.”
Grace: “I’m not saying she was your best friend but you had some sort of relationship with her to be meeting up with her and bringing her around the group. You exchanged messages!”
Bree throws her hands up in frustration.
“Grace needs to get her head out of her wife’s coochie and listen every once in a while, we talked about this a thousand times.”
The camera pans to Lorelei as she fixes her boobs in her dress, she glances towards the argument and looks disinterested.
Mona: “Does it even matter anymore? Like, this is getting old.”
Sheridan: “Well — I can sleep well at night knowing I was vindicated and Bree was proven to be a fool.” She smiles and holds up her drink. “Cheers to that!” She smiles and flips back a piece of her hair.
Bree chuckles a bit.
Bree: “Since we’re speaking about fools…” She turns to Sheridan. “Are you and your on again off again ex husband breaking up? Is another out of wedlock child on the way, Sheridan?”
Grace: “No!” She gasps in shock, covering her mouth.
Bree: “What? Oh, don’t act shocked! It’s everywhere in the blogs.”
Yvonne: “Blogs? You read blogs?! I thought you were a busy, busy Momager!” She snorts and makes a face.
“Bree is so wrong to be bringing this up now. It’s just another example of her wanting to deliberately hurt Sheridan. It’s disgusting.”
Lorelei: “Oh my God…” She sighs and slurps down the rest of her drink. “This is getting ridiculous.”
Yvonne: “That weird security guard is what’s ridiculous…”
Lorelei: “Don’t speak to me.”
We get a quick shot of Lorelei’s hired body guard hovering near the women awkwardly; the camera then pans to Sheridan.
Sheridan: “Let me clear this up — Martin and I are both business partners but that is all we will be moving forward. The strain of the restaurant and the court case and the rumors out there about KP and I were the final nail in our coffin.” She shrugs. “I’m single. If you see that as a win, I guess congrats?” She shakes her head at Bree.
“I don’t know why Bree cares about my relationship status.”
Mona: “I don’t think anyone sees that as a win…”
Bree: “Yeah, I certainly don’t see it as a win. I just thought since we were talking gossip we might discuss that! I love a good juicy scoop!” She smirks.
“You wanna be a bitch? Great. I’ll be a cunt.”
Sheridan: “I didn’t realize anyone was gossiping here — we are talking about facts from the life of Sheridan Campbell.”
Bree shrugs and there’s an awkward silence. Sheridan all of a sudden stands up.
Sheridan: “Well, if we’re done with that how about we enjoy the birthday girl?” She goes over to Monsè and starts giving her a lap dance. “YASSSS!!!”
Monsè screams and laughs as Sheridan jumps on her.
“These girls are talking to a woman who is a much better place this year. Happy Birthday, Monsè! You, Bree…dust!”
Mona: “I’m hitting the dance floor, who’s coming with me?!”
Yvonne: “Let’s do it, Mona. Woohoo! I’m ready to PAR-TAY!” She grabs her drink and gets up.
Grace: “Okay, Monsè, honey. Let’s go for a dance.” She extends her hand out.
Sheridan gets off of Monsè and Monsè takes Grace’s hand.
Monsè: “Gladly…it was getting a little rowdy!”
“It’s not a Beverly Beach party without a little drama. Only one dig about the husband? Thats a success in my book.” She shrugs.
We see the girls as they make their way out to the large dance floor in the club. Sheridan dances in-between Monsè and Grace.
Sheridan: “YASSSSSS girls!”
The camera pans to Mona who starts twerking on Yvonne, drink in hand.
Yvonne: “Oh! This one is hot in the pants! Go Mona!”
“Maybe Mona and I will end up in a relationship, I guess Linda and I will be the next geriatrics fighting for her heart. Sorry Adam.”
A camera follows Bree as she goes and finds Lorelei on the edge of the dance floor.
Bree: “There you are!”
As Bree grabs Lorelei’s hand to take her to dance, Lorelei shakes her head and resists.
Lorelei: “I’m actually going to be leaving now.” She mouths ‘Get the car’ to her security guard and he disappears out the door, Lorelei sighs and turns back to Bree. “Well, this has been…fun.” She makes a face. “I’ve got to go. I’m going to say bye to Monsè and then head out. See you…sometime.”
Bree looks at Lorelei confused as she briskly walks off onto the dance floor.
Bree: “Oh, damn. What’d I do now?” She looks around, genuinely shocked. “I thought this was a fun party.”
The camera catches Lorelei as she exits the club and gets in her car that was pulled up to the front, her confessional plays.
“I felt bad for Monsè tonight. Her little party was ruined. I’m honestly disappointed and annoyed with Bree. I told her to just let it go with Sheridan and she didn’t. She needs to act her age.”
As Lorelei’s car drives off into the night, the episode ends.
