[S6E5]: Bonjour, Bitches!
The episode opens as we see Yvonne, ex husband Horace, and kids Alonzo and Asha, enter Helena’s Grille. They are immediately escorted to a elegantly decorated table in a private room. The family sits down at the eight person table, all on one side.
“Today, Teddy and I decided to bring our families together for a nice Saturday lunch to sort of, bring everyone together and try to do some blending.”
Yvonne looks closely at Alonzo to her side, squinting her eyes tight.
Yvonne: “Did you shave your head? I just noticed you’re basically bald.”
Alonzo and Asha both laugh.
Alonzo: “Mom, what kind of question is that?”
Yvonne: “I’m just wondering if it was a choice or if you’ve joined a cult- well, you are a lawyer so.” She makes a face. “Same thing.”
Alonzo: “That’s not fair. Lawyers aren’t that bad, you work with a lot of them.”
Yvonne: “And none are my friends. Want to know why?” She leans in and whispers. “They’re liars.”
Alonzo: “Whatever mom.”
Music plays as Teddy, his ex-wife, and their two kids walk up to the table.
Yvonne: “Hello there.”
Everyone stands to greet each other as Teddy and Yvonne embrace and kiss.
Yvonne: “ I’m happy we could all get together today. As you all know, Teddy and I are in a serious relationship now but we fear there is some tension.” She nods to Teddy.
Teddy: “Yeah, it’s important to me to get to know Yvonne’s family and her to meet mine if we’re going to move forward together.”
There is a loud noise as Teddy’s ex-wife moves her chair roughly with a look of disgust on her face.
Teddy: “What’s wrong, Patrice?”
Patrice sits down then looks up at him.
Patrice: “Oh, nothing.”
Teddy: “Come on, we can be honest.”
Everyone now sits.
Patrice: “I’m just not comfortable sitting across from the woman who took my husband from me.”
Yvonne rolls her eyes and Asha looks uncomfortable.
Teddy: “You know Yvonne did not end our marriage. We should’ve never lasted longer than the first five years if we’re being honest.”
Teddy’s children cringe.
Patrice: “I don’t care. To me, I have no interest getting to know her or her family quite frankly. I don’t even know why I’m here.” She points to Yvonne.
Yvonne: “So leave.” She sips her water.
Horace: “No one should leave.” He holds his hands up. “If I can say something, if there’s this much animosity, I don’t think Teddy and Yvonne will ever be able to have a healthy relationship.”
Patrice: “She should’ve thought about that before dealing with a married man.”
Teddy: “Patrice, stop it.”
Yvonne: “You listen to me — “ She scoots forward in her chair and pushes Asha’s hand away from her. “I’m very gracious to even invite you here because I know you can’t afford it and you’ve spread a vicious rumor about me around town. You don’t have the man and I do, take your grievances to your therapist or your grave because the jealousy’s eating you alive.”
The table goes silent. Alonzo puts his head in his hands, Asha looks down. Horace cringes.
Teddy: “Woah Yvonne, don’t talk to her like that. My kids are here.”
The camera pans to Teddy’s kids, horrified.
Patrice: “No, she’s right. You all enjoy yourselves; I’ll leave.”
Patrice gets up and grabs her 14 year old son to come with her.
Yvonne: “Good riddance!”
Teddy: “Yvonne, that wasn’t right.”
Yvonne turns to Teddy.
Yvonne: “So what was I to do? Let her disrespect me to my face? It’s clear she’s still in love with you so you should’ve gotten that under control before trying to get with me.”
Teddy looks stunned.
Teddy: “Maybe I shouldn’t be with you. Maybe we should’ve just been friends and business partners.”
Yvonne: “Maybe.” She shrugs.
Asha: “Mom, you don’t mean that.”
Yvonne: “Don’t tell me what I don’t mean. He’s saying what he means and she’s damn sure said what she meant.” She looks at her daughter.
“I’m not sure that I’m interested in this relationship anymore. It’s brought more stress than happiness to my life and it’s only getting worse.”
The table is uncomfortably silent. Yvonne turns to Teddy’s other child.
Yvonne: “I’m sorry you had to hear this, baby. I don’t hate your mom, this is just an unfortunate situation.”
Teddy’s other son nods uncomfortably.
Teddy: “Come on, son. Let’s get going. Yvonne, we’ll talk just the two of us another time.”
As Teddy and his son leave, Yvonne sips her water and begins looking at the menu.
Teddy: “Whatever, man.” He scoffs as her walks out the door.
We go back to the table.
Yvonne: “So, what is everyone ordering?”
The scene ends as Horace, Asha, and Alonzo all exchange looks.
We get night shots of downtown Beverly Beach. We see Xavier and Lorelei holding hands and walking the street. They stop at an upscale restaurant and Xavier opens the door for her.
Hostess: “Hi, welcome to The Waterfront Bisto. Table for two tonight? Is outside okay?”
Xavier: “Outside is fine. Thank you.”
The hostess takes them outsides and seats them, handing them menus before she walks away. Lorelei looks across to Xavier and smiles.
Lorelei: “I’m so happy to see you, baby!” She reaches across and holds his hand. “I feel like I’ve been like working so much here lately with the maternity line, we haven’t been able to, like, go on a date.”
Xavier: “I know, honey. You’re a busy woman, huh?” He laughs. “You don’t spend no time with your husband, and aren’t you leaving for Canada tomorrow?” He raises an eyebrow.
Lorelei: “I know, I’ll do better.” She frowns a little. “Once I’m back from my trip and the designs are finalized and we start producing them, I’ll be a bit more relaxed.” She leans back into her chair.
The waiter brings Lorelei a martini and Xavier a beer.
“As of the last month or so, I’m always at the office. I’m there from 9AM til like 10–11PM at night. I hardly ever see Xav or my baby and it’s- it’s challenging. Being a working mom, it’s hard. I want to be able to live my dream and be a good wife and mother.”
Xavier: “That’s good. I do worry about you though…” He takes a sip of his beer. “You work so much, I feel like you’re putting off the real issue. You know?”
Lorelei looks at him and raises an eyebrow.
Lorelei: “You’re not wrong. I think keeping busy is best to keep my mind off of it.”
Xavier: “Baby… this is me. You can be transparent here. I know you’re upset and you’re grieving.”
Lorelei nods and looks down at her menu, holding back tears.
Lorelei: “It’s just… I’m so angry! I’m upset and I’m angry. We had a beautiful baby that I was growing inside of me and for them to just not be here is upsetting. It was my baby. Our baby.” She unrolls her napkin to wipe her eyes.
“I had a ectopic pregnancy, which means I was basically pregnant outside of my uterus. The doctor immediately suggested we terminate the pregnancy and…” She stops and sighs. “We did. I recently found out that my Fallopian tube was damaged from the pregnancy and I am being told it is dangerous and high risk to have another child myself.”
Xavier: “I know, Lor.” He rubs her hand and frowns. “We are going to get through this. I know we want a sibling for Banks. What do you think about… us hiring a Surrogate?
Lorelei: “I don’t know, baby. You know how I feel about wanting to carry my own child, but now, since I know that can’t happen… I don’t know. I just feel sad about the idea of some stranger carrying my child.”
Xavier: “I understand you baby. I do. But, you have to think of it as the surrogate is the oven that will help our baby grow into a healthy baby. It is still OUR baby, and we will still love it all the same as if you carried them.” He smiles and looks at her. “I love you baby, always.”
Lorelei nods slowly, thinking. Xavier gets up and gives her a kiss on the head.
Xavier: “I hope I didn’t upset you. And before we even ordered…” He makes a ‘yikes’ face and then laughs a little.
Lorelei: “You’re getting laid tonight, calm down.” She chuckles and rolls her eyes.
The scene fades out.
Bree is seen in the beauty salon at her house, looking at her phone while getting her nails done by a young woman at the manicure station.
“After some consideration, and after having been encouraged by some friends, especially Lorelei, I decided to give this whole dating thing a try, but I have to admit it’s been a while since the last time I went on a date, I’ll see how it goes.” She giggles.
Bree: “I really need to call Lorelei, I have to tell her about this whole dating thing…”
Bree puts her phone on speaker and sets it down, Lorelei answers withen a few seconds.
Lorelei: “Hey Bree, how are you, hun?”
Bree: “Hi doll, I’m doing good, just wanted to update you on a little something.”
Lorelei: “Oh God, what’s going on.”
Bree: “Don’t worry, it’s nothing bad, I actually think you’re going to be so excited about it!”
Lorelei: “You’re killing me! What is it?!”
Bree: “Well… after Banks’ birthday I’ve been really thinking about what you girls were saying and I feel like it may be time for me to start dating again!”
Lorelei: “Yes Bree, I’ve been telling you! I’m so happy, you already have a date?”
Bree: “Well not really, I’m just kind of looking around seeing what’s available, it’s so exciting, but I have to admit I’m a bit nervous, it’s been so long!”
“I know it may sound crazy, but I am so fucking nervous to get back into the dating game… I mean I’m not saying I never went out with a man in the 6 years I’ve been divorced, but it was never something serious… it was more like a nice date and then… you know.” She winks.
The nail tech lets Bree know she’s done. Bree checks her nails.
Bree: “Thank you, honey. They look gorgeous.” She smiles at the nail tech.
Lorelei: “I know, but I think now it’s the perfect time for you to get back into the dating scene, your daughters’ careers have taken off and you don’t need to be as involved, and it’s been YEARS since your divorce with Logan!”
Bree leans back in her chair and bites her lip.
Bree: “I know, I know… I guess we’ll see what happens, right?”
Lorelei: “Absolutely, girl! Keep me posted. I’ll see you in Quebec!”
Bree: “ Alright doll, now I gotta go get my my hair done, I’ll text you later.”
Lorelei: “Love you!”
Bree: “Love you, too!”
“Hearing how supportive Lorelei is really made me feel way more confident, plus as nervous as I may be I have to admit that the idea of meeting new people and going on dates is… exciting!”
Bree hangs up the phone then stands up and walks towards the hair washing station, the scene then fades as Bree seen getting her hair washed by her hairstylist.
We see the private airport in Beverly Beach. A private jet drives out to the runway and then takes off. We get a shot from beneath it as it gets higher in the air. Inside, Grace and Yvonne sit together in the luxe interior. Yvonne is opening a bottle of Moët.
“So since Grace and I both have jobs, we needed to travel a couple hours behind the rest of the group. So, I have Teddy’s private jet.” She winks. “and my friend and I will be traveling to Quebec in style!”
Yvonne is now pouring the champagne in flutes.
Yvonne: “Yay us! This is the life you can live when you work.” She laughs and holds up her glass, Grace follows.
Grace: “We’re boss bitches, that’s why!” She laughs and takes a sip.
Yvonne crosses her legs and leans back into her seat.
Yvonne: “So, you went to Lorelei’s baby’s birthday, right? How was it?”
Grace: “It was alot.” She sighs. “ personally had a good time, it was a kid’s birthday party. Banksy Boo had a little bouncy castle that I played with her on and um…the ladies had plenty to say about you, I’ll say that.” She nods.
Yvonne: “About me?” She almost spits out her champagne. “What did I do?”
“I feel that as Yvonne’s closest friend in the group, it’s my duty to speak up for her, but also tell her what’s being said about her. I’m many things, but a bad friend isn’t one of them. Take notes, Mona.” She smiles smugly.
Grace: “They were talking about your situation with… Teddy, I think it was?”
Yvonne rolls her eyes.
Yvonne: “ I already talked about this with Bree, it’s such a non-issue. By the time we were involved, he signed the divorce papers. Yes, we had some fun- took trips, went out to dinner, things like that before but never while he was IN the marriage.”
“I know many of the girls are trying to tear the Dame down but this is not a skeleton, I’m not hiding behind anything.”
Grace : “Bree did mention that you two met and talked.”
Yvonne: “We had a great conversation and I did find out she planted this seed in Mona’s ear. But the question is, did she stand up and tell the truth?”
Grace tightens her lips and shakes her head.
Grace: “Bree mentioned your get-together but other than that, she was quiet as a church mouse.” She raises an eyebrow. “The actress and Monsè on the other hand had plenty to say.”
Yvonne chuckles as she shakes her head.
“I’m disappointed to find out Bree didn’t tell the truth and refused to stand up for me. Looks like I’m going into the Lion’s Den but that’s okay, I’m no stranger to controversy.”
Yvonne: “Mona is married to a man old enough to be her father and Monsè was sold to her husband for goats and horses. Give me a break!”
Grace: “Mona was being very hypocritical, I believe.”
“Mona’s double standards shock me. She’s clearly trying to stir up trouble and be messy to distract herself and all of us from her fucked up life.” She shrugs “It’s okay, we know your husband isn’t under the same roof as you… it’s cool!
Yvonne: “Well at least she was sober this time…I hope.”
Grace: “You’ve got this, you’re owning your truth and that’s what matters the most. Mona hasn’t done that at all, you should remind her of that.” She smiles.
Yvonne: “Seems like I’ll be reminding a few of the ladies of how much their shit stinks. Game on, babies!”
Grace raises her glass.
Grace: “Game on!” She laughs.
Yvonne and Grace both sip their champagne in unison and then the scene fades out.
We see cool shots of the outdoors and cool landmarks in Quebec, Canada. We see a very upscale neighborhood right on a large lake, surrounded by woods. The camera focuses on one house. We get a shot of Sheridan opening the door and walking in with Lorelei and Mona.
Sheridan: “Ladies! Welcome! Put your things down and let’s get some drinks before I assign your rooms!” She starts walking towards the bar room.
Mona: “This house is gorg!”
“I’m so excited for the ladies to be here in Quebec’s at one of my parents estates. We are going to have a weekend full of fun!”
Lorelei walks behind Sheridan lugging a few suitcases. She glances around.
Lorelei: “This is a cute little house!”
Sheridan turns around and laughs.
Sheridan: “Little? This estate has six bedrooms. I hardly would say it’s little.” She turns around and flips her hair as she gets behind the beautiful wooden bar.
Lorelei quickly rolls her eyes and she leans on the bar as Sheridan starts pouring expensive tequila.
Lorelei: “My mistake, Sher!” She smirks.
Sheridan: “Thank you.” She hands Lorelei a drink. “I hate it that Monsè couldn’t come today. I’ll miss her tonight. And my girl Lauren.”
Mona: “Me too but she’s getting her coins though filming a cameo in a movie!”
Sheridan: “Oh — And Bree is coming tomorrow too. Grace and Yvonne should be here shortly…”
The shot switches to outside as Yvonne and Grace are seen climbing out of a car. Grace points to the driver.
Grace: “Excuse me! You! Yes, you! Could you…” She points to her luggage in the trunk. “Help me get these inside, please? Thank you so much.” She turns to Yvonne. “You ready?”
Yvonne holds a bouquet of flowers.
Yvonne: “Always.”
We get a shot of the girls walking inside. We then see Sheridan, Lorelei, and Mona sitting and chatting in the grand living room as Yvonne and Grace enter.
Grace: “Hello! We’re here!”
Sheridan gets up to hug them.
Sheridan: “Hey ladies! Welcome to my family’s estate!”
Yvonne: “This is beautiful, Sheridan! Very unique.” She smiles and looks around.
“I’m excited to be in Sheridan’s parents’ home. I’ve known them for about 15 years but this is my first time at the Quebec estate.”
Mona and Lorelei look at each other on the couch.
Mona: “Grace and Yvonne…yayyyyy!” She says sarcastically.
Mona takes a big gulp of wine and rolls her eyes, Lorelei chuckles.
Lorelei: “I ought to go say hi to Grace.” She gets up.
Grace, Yvonne, and Sheridan stand and chat. Lorelei joins them.
Lorelei: “Hey ladies!”
Grace: “Hi!” She gives Lorelei a hug.
Yvonne glances at Lorelei, not speaking, and then sips her drink.
Yvonne: “Hmm.”
“I’m still not over the fact that Lorelei not only didn’t invite me to her baby’s birthday but also was talking about me behind my back with the other ladies.”
Lorelei puts her arm around Grace’s waist.
Lorelei: “We’re going to have fun this trip!”
Sheridan: “Well ladies, let me go ahead and tell you your room assignments. Mona, come here!”
Mona: “Yes! Rooms!” She comes over.
Sheridan: “Now, my parents have a 6 bedroom estate and there are 8 of us so I have assigned some of the girls to double up…Lauren will be sharing the master suite with me when she gets here tomorrow!”
“I love sharing rooms on a girls trip! I can talk shit all night.” She laughs.
Lorelei: “Whew, not sharing rooms.” She laughs and mumbles to Grace. “I better be alone, chile…”
Grace nods in agreement.
“I am a 39 year old woman. I can’t be sharing rooms with other women. Like…what if I decide to FaceTime my husband and do some kinky shit?!” She snaps. “None of these girls get to see my goodies!”
Sheridan: “Miss Grace, your room is upstairs and to the right. Second door!”
Grace: “Thank you, sweetie.” She smiles.
Mona: “The Faroe finally got her own room!” She laughs.
Grace: “As I should.”
“It seems lessons were learnt after last year…We’ve come a long way! No AirBnB for me tonight!” She laughs.
Sheridan: “Yvonne; you have a very special room on the first floor — my nana’s room. It’s right back that way to the end of the hall.”
Mona: “Not the nana’s room!” She bursts out laughing.
Yvonne: “I’m honored.” She gives Mona a look then turns back to Sheridan. “As long as she didn’t die back there or something.”
Sheridan: “Bree’s room is going to be the third door on the right, up the stairs. It’s the standard guest room….”
Sheridan: “Lorelei — you have my brothers room. Second door on your right up the staircase.”
Lorelei’s eyes widen and she plasters a smile.
Lorelei: “Oh… Oh, thank you.” Her teeth show excessively.
Sheridan: “Mona and Monsè will be sharing my bedroom on the second floor. Fourth door on the right, up the stairs. Don’t fuck up my bedroom.” She points to Mona.
Mona: “Monsè and I won’t!” She smiles. “Thank you.”
“I can definitely see Mona wasting a Corona, some wine, or whatever her choice of alcohol will be that day, on Sheridan’s bed. Alcoholics can be very sloppy.
Sheridan: “We’re just going to take the night easy. I’m going to go take a shower but everybody, please, settle in,”
“The rooms at my parents estate are fabulous! There should be no complaints!”
We see Sheridan head up the stairs.
Mona: “I’m going to go settle into my room.” She walks off.
Grace is seen wandering off as well. Lorelei and Yvonne are left in the living room, there is an awkward silence. Lorelei looks at Yvonne and raises and eyebrow.
Lorelei: “I notice you seem a little cold, everything okay?”
Yvonne: “Actually, no. Can we talk?”
Lorelei looks taken aback.
Lorelei: “Oh! Why’s tha — “ She nods. “Sure, we can talk.”
She rolls her eyes.
“We aren’t even 20 minutes into the trip and Yvonne is already salty with me about some. Girl, what are you mad about?!” She laughs.
Yvonne: “Let’s go to the backyard.”
The shot briefly changes to a half-opened door in a big hallway. We see Mona in her room as she is seen digging through her suitcase.
Mona: “Where’d I put my wine? Mama needs more alcohol.” She laughs quietly to herself.
The shot changes back to Lorelei and Yvonne who are now outside on a fabulous deck overlooking a wooded backyard.
Lorelei: “What’s going on?”
Yvonne: “So, I’m a little thrown. Here I am thinking you and I are good, friendly enough that I can expect invites to your events.”
Lorelei: “Mhm. Thats correct.” She nods.
Yvonne: “So imagine my surprise when Megamind Mona asks me if I’m going to Banks’ party and I haven’t gotten as much as an invite via text.” She shakes her head. “You tell me if I should be looking at you funny or have an attitude, because that’s fake.”
Lorelei gasps.
Lorelei: “Oh, no, I’m not fake. I actually didn’t think it would bother you this much not being invited to my daughter’s party.” She clenches her teeth and makes a face. “It wasn’t meant to be malicious at all.”
Yvonne: “Well don’t grit your teeth at me, I’m just being honest.” She looks a little annoyed. “I’m sure it wasn’t malicious but it feels intentional especially when I know conversations are being had about me in my absence.”
Lorelei sighs and crosses her arms.
Lorelei: “Conversations are being had about you?” She looks confused. “I don’t recall saying anything negative about you. Listen, truth be told… I just didn’t want any drama at my daughters party.” She shrugs. “ You’ve had some run ins with some of the other ladies and I just thought maybe it would be best to steer clear of that for that specific day.”
Yvonne: “Okay and…” She claps between words. “There. It. Is.” She gestures. “I would’ve appreciated a message saying that. Be real with me, I’m not a sensitive girl but I thought I’d be invited over those people. Maybe I miscalculated our friendship.” She shrugs. “Just make sure that if I’m not there to steer clear of drama, that your ‘friends’ aren’t saying anything negative.”
“Right now, Lorelei is coming across as someone who I need to re-assess where we stand. I don’t want this to be an ongoing issue but I can’t shake how this feels like a set-up.”
Lorelei reaches over and grabs Yvonne’s hand and smiles a little.
Lorelei: “I promise you, it really wasn’t meant to be negative. I think of you as a good friend and I wouldn’t jeopardize our relationship for something petty. Just know, I have your back. If words are being said about you, I’ve got you.”
Yvonne: “Make me feel it, don’t just say it. That’s my only request. Get up and Give me a hug.” She stands up and extends her arms. “Hurry up!”
Lorelei gets up and hugs her tight, laughing.
Yvonne: “I’m going to send you the baby’s gift. I almost returned it.” She laughs.
“I realize now that I could’ve told Yvonne upfront that it just wasn’t going to be a good idea for her to come to the party. But… I didn’t know how she would take it.” She shrugs. “I don’t want her thinking I’m like talking trash about her or something, that’s just not what it is.”
The episode ends.
