[S6E13]: Czech Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself
Music plays as the episode opens up with shots of Prague, Czech Republic. We see iconic land marks like the Prague Castle and the Saint Charles Bridge. We see the bustling city and the camera zooms in on a five star hotel.
In a big suite room we see Lorelei instructing the hotel staff.
Lorelei: “Yeah, let’s put some food out and keep the drinks coming. It was a long flight and I’m sure everyone’s a bit hungry.” She laughs.
The staff finishes setting up delicious plates of breakfast foods and pastries, there’s a ‘pop’ as one of them opens a bottle of Veuve and begins pouring glasses.
There’s a knock on the door and one of the staff goes to open in; Grace, Sheridan, Bree, Mona, Yvonne, and Monsè all walk in.
“These bitches are always so dressed up! I don’t dress up for a long ass flight. I’ll get dressed and look better than everyone at dinner.”
Grace: “Hey, honey! Long flight, whew!” She laughs and gives Lorelei a hug.
Lorelei: “My gosh, wasn’t it? But it is so gorgeous here! There’s food and drinks if you’re hungry, honey.”
Sheridan: “I am so happy to finally be somewhere comfortable. What a long flight!” She plops down on a couch.
Bree: “This room…” She looks around. “Is incredible! I love your taste girl!”
“This is my first time being together with everyone ever since I was thrown out of Sheridan’s restaurant… so yeah I’m a bit nervous, I just don’t want any drama, this trip is meant to be relaxing and fun!”
We get a shot of Bree standing next to Lorelei and not really talking with the others. The camera then pans to Mona.
Mona: “This suite really is so chic!”
“We are in Prague honey! Lorelei’s gonna treat us good, I just know it!”
Lorelei: “Hello ladies.” She addresses the group. “Make yourselves comfortable. There’s food and some drinks here for you all! Get some food and whatnot; then we can discuss rooms.”
Mona: “Fab!” She begins putting food on her plate, Bree follows her.
Grace comes up to Mona and Bree as they are getting food.
Grace: “Why are you both in full glam?”
Mona looks up from her plate.
Mona: “Because we can be.” She laughs.
Bree: “Well, I saw Lorelei was all dolled up and I didn’t wanna look ratchet, that flight was rough!” She shrugs.
Grace raises her eyebrow.
Grace: “But why? You were on a plane ride… not the Met Gala, honey.”
“I like to look good but WHY… waste your money and time on getting glammed for a plane-ride? Why?!”
Monsè: “That peace lasted all off…” She pretends to check a watch. “Five seconds!”
The camera pans to Yvonne who is taking selfies infront of the floor to ceiling windows, ignorant of whats going on.
Sheridan: “Being in glam for over 10 hours is…a choice. On plane…” She lays on the couch, in earshot.
Grace: “Agreed!” She turns and nods at Sheridan.
Bree: “Well Grace, what else could we do on a plane, I personally can’t sleep when flying.” She bites into a piece of bacon.
“My gosh Grace let it go! We have fun getting dolled up, so what?”
Mona: “Who cares? My stylist is watching my babies for a day until my mom can get there. So she did my makeup. Why is this such an issue?” She laughs and looks at Grace, confused.
We see Lorelei as she crosses her arms and listens.
“They are really arguing about being in glam? Honey, If you’re broke and too cheap to pay for glam just say that.”
Sheridan: “It’s not a big deal!” She sits up.
Grace: “Right, like, It’s not an issue, I’m just pointing out that I don’t understand it. It’s weird!”
Mona: “Okay. Grace. Thanks for your concern.” She rolls her eyes and goes to sit down.
Grace: “You’re welcome, baby.” She smiles at Mona and begins making herself a plate.
“Grace’s always so negative and judgy. I’m sorry you couldn’t get glam before the trip! We all know you need some!”
Sheridan: “Lorelei hun, can you stop stuffing your face and tell us where our rooms are?”
The camera pans to Lorelei who is eating yogurt.
Yvonne: “I just know you got the hook-up! I’m going to have the best accommodations.” She stands up and puts her hand out. “Where’s the key card to my room?”
Grace laughs at Yvonne.
Monsè: “If these rooms are anywhere near as gorgeous as this one I’m excited girl!”
Lorelei giggles.
Lorelei: “The reason I invited all of you out to Prague was because I am sourcing new fabric for NUDITY’s new maternity line and I wanted you all to be apart of the process. So first off, thank you for being here.” She smiles. “As far as rooms go… Mona, Bree and I will be staying in this suite! and the rest of you will have your own mini suites. That acceptable?”
Sheridan: “Sure, I don’t care. Give me my key.” She holds out her hand impatiently.
Mona: “Yay!” She high-fives Bree.
The camera pans to Grace who sits silently, with no expression.
Monsè: “What exactly is a ‘mini suite’?” She does air quotes and looks confused.
Yvonne looks at Monsè and nods.
“Who would think Monsè and I getting our first moment of agreement by not knowing about the travesty I’m assuming a mini-suite is.”
“I’m sorry… mini-suite? Did I hear her correctly? Why has Mona Quinn secured a better room than I have? Is she turning tricks again?”
“Mini suites is very fitting. I mean… if I had enough room in this one I’d let them all stay.” She laughs. “Some of these bitches are going to be upset.” She shrugs.
Lorelei looks at them while handing out their keys.
Lorelei: “It’s nothing bad. The mini suites are just smaller than this. I think you’ll like them.” She smiles.
Monsè hesitantly takes her key and raises an eyebrow at Lorelei.
“Honey, I’m a COO. I stay in the presidential suite, not the mini suite.”
Bree: “I think a smaller room could be way more relaxing guys, you have a whole room for yourself! Come on.” She smiles and sips her mimosa.
Grace: “At least I’m not being forced to share with someone…”
Lorelei points to Grace and nods.
Lorelei: “I know you don’t wanna share.”
“Listen, I’m not exactly thrilled to be getting an economy room when others are getting better rooms. I mean, I’m Grace fucking Faroe! I am the moment!” She laughs.
Mona: “Monsè, I wish we could fit you here too!” She pouts.
Monsè: “If that’s all Lorelei can afford, I understand.”
Lorelei: “Oop!” She looks at Monsè and chuckles, rolling her eyes a bit. She mumbles to Bree. “Was that attitude? That was attitude.”
Bree: “Just ignore her, like everyone does.”
The girls chuckle. Sheridan grabs her things and begins walking out of the door.
Sheridan: “Someone text me if we are leaving. Someone other than Lorelei — Her number is still blocked.” She closes the door behind her.
The camera pans to Lorelei and Bree; Lorelei scrunches up her nose. The scene ends.
Music plays as we get cool shots of the Prague Castle.
A Sprinter van pulls up on a side street to the plaza that it’s in. The Housewives all get out and head towards the castle.
The camera pans to Sheridan as she begins to run a little.
Sheridan: “Oh my gosh!!! Yasss!!! Mona!!! Come!!!”
Mona: “This is so gorg!” She jogs a little to catch up with Sheridan.
Lorelei: “This castle is stunning! I wonder how much it is worth?” She videos herself walking towards it.
Yvonne: “Oh this is one of the most beautiful sceneries! Mona, did you want to look like me? Love the hat!”
“I’m not sure why Mona’s hat isn’t on her head but her forehead is covered and I know that’s a miracle.”
Mona looks over at Yvonne and blatantly ignores her.
Yvonne: “Oh, the cold shoulder? Someone’s still salty.”
“She gets nothing from me on this trip. No ma’am.”
Mona: “Sheridan! Let’s take photos over here!”
Yvonne: “Grace, take my photo!”
As the girls reach the castle and start taking photos, the camera pans to Bree who walks behind a little.
Bree: “This is absolutely gorgeous I must say.” She smiles and looks around; accidentally body slamming a little kid who begins crying. “Oh gosh I’m so sorry, I’m sorry!”
The scene goes back to Grace as she holds her phone up to take Yvonne’s photo infront of the castle.
Yvonne: “I’m going to put it on the Instagram!”
Next to her, Monsè is seen taking a selfie. The camera pans to Sheridan who is taking selfies with Mona. As they are examining the pictures they took, Sheridan looks to Mona.
Sheridan: “How are you babe? I haven’t talked to you since we weren’t beside each other on the plane.” She laughs.
Mona: “I’m alright! How have you been?”
We see Lorelei look over at Mona and Sheridan and makes a questioning face; then shrugs.
“I didn’t realize the two of them were in a better place. Hopefully Sheridan doesn’t fuck it up this time.”
Sheridan: “You know, I’m doing a bit better. Martin came home last night…right before we left for Prague. I’m happy he’s home, but lots to talk about when I return. How are you and Adam?”
Mona sighs.
Mona: “I don’t really know, we haven’t talked in almost a month. Trying to forget about him though. On this trip at least.”
Sheridan grabs Mona’s hand.
Sheridan: “I’m sorry babe, well you know I’m here for you. I know we have different sets of friends within this group, but I’m always here for you.” She smiles.
Mona: “Likewise babe! You know I’m always here for you too, no matter what.” She hugs Sheridan.
“I’m glad Mona and I have gotten our friendship back on track. We’ve faced a lot of hurdles these last few months, but we are back on track.”
It goes back to the women taking pictures infront of the Prague Castle.
Lorelei: “Yvonne, honey let’s take a picture!”
Yvonne: “Let’s do it, smize don’t smile!”
Lorelei: “That’s all I do. Smiling causes wrinkles, boo!”
Yvonne begins striking several poses next to Lorelei; Bree looks over.
“Instagram? Smize? I guess Sheridan’s been teaching Yvonne about social media, good for her!”
Once Mona and Sheridan rejoin the group, Lorelei looks at the time on her phone.
Lorelei: “Are you guys hungry? I hear there is a delicious cafe nearby.”
Bree: “I was about to say I’m kinda hungry, let’s go!”
Sheridan: “You guys are hungry again? I guess I could eat!”
Lorelei: “Yes honey, I am always down to eat!”
“I don’t know why Sheridan is shaming us for liking to eat. At least I am in shape!” She laughs and flips her middle finger up. “Bitch.”
Monsè: “Yes, girl. All these selfies got me working up an appetite.”
Grace: “Oh, yes!”
Yvonne: “Lead the way!”
As the girls walk to the cafe, Mona speeds up to walk next to Monsè and links arms with her.
Mona: “Monsé, how you doing babe?”
Monsè: “I’m good, hun! A little pissed about the room situation.” She laughs. “But I’m excited to have some fun in Prague! How’s everything at home?”
Mona: “If you want to share you can always stay with me! And let’s talk about that later, not really in the mood right now.” She shrugs.
“I’m happy Monsé has become part of this friend group. She’s a real one who’ll always have my back.”
The girls make their way into the cafe the lines the plaza, they get in line to order.
Bree: “Oh here we are, gosh I’m hungry, and I could also use a drink.”
Lorelei: “Me too! I’d love an espresso.”
Monsè: “Yes, I need a latte and a scone ASAP.”
The girls get their drinks and make their way to the outside portion of the cafe. There is a large empty table open, along with a smaller one.
Bree: “Let’s all sit here!” She points to the big table. “There’s room for everybody!”
Bree, Lorelei, Mona, and Monsè all sit at the table.
The camera pans to Yvonne who turns to Sheridan and Grace.
Yvonne: “Let’s sit there.” She nods to the smaller table.
Sheridan: “Yeah, I don’t want to sit with Bree.”
Grace: “Yep.”
The three woman make their way to the smaller table on the other side of the cafe area. The camera pans in on Bree’s shocked reaction. Mona raises an eyebrow. Lorelei looks over at Bree and shakes her head.
Lorelei: “That’s… that’s really rude. Wow.”
“Now what’s that about? They’re icing me out? Fucking losers.”
“I feel really bad for Bree because I invited her onto this trip and they’re icing her out. I want everyone to feel included and this isn’t… it’s not right.” She shakes her head.
Bree: “I can’t even believe it, the whole purpose of this trip was to relax and get over the tensions, I guess they’re not as mature as they want to seem!” She shrugs.
Mona: “Why are we separated!?”
Monsè looks over at the smaller groups table, annoyed.
“Damn, why didn’t I think of that?! I don’t want to sit with the Plastics either.”
Bree: “Apparently Yvonne wanted it to be just the three of them.” She rolls her eyes. “What a bitch.”
Mona: “Not surprised.”
We now go to Sheridan, Yvonne, and Grace talking at their table and sipping their coffees.
Sheridan: “It’s a little chilly in Prague! I didn’t pack wintery clothes, ladies!” She laughs.
Yvonne: “I made sure to check the Weather App!” She bites her scone and then covers her mouth. “I had to put my readers on and everything.”
Grace laughs.
Sheridan: “Not the readers, girl!” She sips her drink. “I feel bad for Monsè over there…I’m sure Bree’s energy is draining her.”
Yvonne: “Speaking of drained energy…Someone sent me this picture Bree took on her Instagram. I think she’s going through something bad.”
Yvonne pulls out her phone and places it on the table to show Grace and Sheridan.
Yvonne: “Did either of you know she went bald?”
Sheridan: “What in the world? Is she okay? Like mentally okay?”
Grace’s eyes widen.
“I’m…confused.”
Yvonne: “Maybe she’s reforming her behavior and the bald cut is a sign of rebirth!” She chuckles.
The scene goes back to Lorelei, Mona, Monsè, and Bree at their table.
Lorelei: “I’m like really not feeling this divide.” She looks to the girls. “This isn’t right and it’s like… you know, kind of childish.”
Mona: “Yep, yep exactly Lorelei.”
“This is mean girl behavior and it’s just to make Bree feel shitty. Why can’t we all be nice to each other?”
Bree: “Whatever girls, it’s just ridiculous at this point.” She sips her espresso martini.
Lorelei: “I’m ,like, going to say something about it tonight at dinner. This isn’t right you guys. I invited Bree here to have fun on vacation like the rest of us and they’re icing her out.” She pats Bree’s shoulder.
Mona: “It’s not okay, we came here as a group, we stay together as a group. No matter who doesn’t like each other.”
Monsè: “I mean, there has been a lot of tension already. Maybe they just want to keep the peace for a couple of hours.” She shrugs.
Lorelei: “That may be true. I don’t know, it’s just so rude.”
Bree: “Listen, Monsè — I don’t care for their friendship, but it’s not nice to Lorelei , who put this together.”
Monsè rolls her eyes a little.
“Bree brought this upon herself. If you don’t want the ice, don’t burn everyone in the group.”
Bree keeps her eyes locked on Monsè, they narrow.
Bree: “Not to mention it was Grace who was being shady right as we landed, so, it’s definitely not this group who started the tensions, just saying.”
Mona: “Don’t beat yourself up over Grace, she’s just a mega bitch.”
Monsè: “True, that was uncalled for. That’s just Grace for ya.”
Bree: “She’s just got no personality and listens to whatever comes out of Yvonne’s shit filled mouth.”
Mona: “She’s a minion.”
Bree: “I guess we know what we’ll be talking about at dinner then.” She cackles.
“Do I care for these women’s friendship? No, not really. Do I think it’s disrespectful for a group of 40 plus years olds to act like this towards the hostess of the trip? Yeah.”
The scene goes back to Grace, Bree, and Yvonne.
Yvonne: “I just want to know, did she shave it bald?! Maybe Vanessa did!”
Sheridan: “I kind of just — Nevermind that’s mean. I don’t do bad things on trips anymore.”
Sheridan: “I just — I want to just yank her hair a bit to see if it’s a wig.” She laughs. “I’m sorry I’m not going to do it.”
“Shut up Sheridan you’re not that girl anymore.” She laughs. “I won’t yank that girls hair, wig, whatever it is. Maybe I can just aim my blow dryer toward her…”
Yvonne: “Sheridan, don’t do that!”
“Maybe it’ll accidentally just, ploop, fall off, and her clean cut will be revealed! It would serve the bitch right.”
The girls all snicker. We get a wide shot of the Prague Castle and the scene ends.
It’s now nightime in Prague.
The ‘Wive’s Sprinter van pulls up infront of a crowded, nice restaurant. They all make their way off and inside.
The hostess immediately leads them across the dining room and down into a private room. Lorelei looks around in awe.
Lorelei: “Ohhhh, this is fabulous! Feels like we’re dining in a cave.” She claps. “Love it!”
Sheridan glances at Lorelei and sits on the opposite end of the table as her. Grace sits down next to Sheridan.
Grace: “Wow, this looks amazing!”
Sheridan looks Grace up and down and snaps.
Sheridan: “Mrs. Faroe, you’re looking like a bag of money!”
Grace laughs and Mona and Bree take a seat on Lorelei’s side of the table.
Mona: “Hi, hi!”
Bree: “Stun — ning!”
Lorelei: “Everyone is looking beautiful tonight!” She smiles.
“My friend Lorelei knows how to organize a good trip, this is a whole different experience than Quebec, or whatever that was.”
Sheridan squints her eyes at Bree and then turns to Grace, talking quietly.
Sheridan: “Oh jeez I’m blinded by a disco ball.” She chuckles and then looks over to Mona. “Mona, love the body suit!”
Mona: “Thanks! You look cute too!”
Lorelei flicks her eyes to the interaction quickly.
“Everyone understood the assignment tonight. We all look great. I mean…” She coughs. “Sheridan is looking like a whore off 52nd street, but what else is new?” She laughs.
Yvonne: “Sheridan, I know you said you felt cold but you’ve got your whole Patty cake and legs out tonight!”
Sheridan: “It’s what I packed, babe!” She laughs.
“I know Sheridan is in DEEP financial trouble… but why is she always wearing these SHEIN outfits? It’s getting sad.”
Yvonne: “You should’ve told me to bring you a cover, what if someone drops some silverware and gets a flash?” She smirks.
Sheridan weakly shrugs and then goes back to looking at the winelist.
“The older women always have something to say about my style.” She laughs. “They could never pull off something that shows off their bodies like this. The FUPAS they have would flop without their shapewear.”
“At times, I clutch my pearls at some of the younger women’s fashion choices. Not that I think there’s anything wrong, but sometimes they go slutty comfort when the environment calls for a more sophisticated look. Not judging, but let’s get some variety in the wardrobe.”
Mona: “Oh by the way everyone — Monsè wasn't feeling well. She’s in my room relaxing.” She smiles.
Lorelei: “Oh, I hope she’s okay.” She looks concerned.
Mona: “Too many espresso martinis this afternoon!”
The girls all order a round of drinks and appetizers.
Lorelei: “So,” She looks to Sheridan. “How is everything with you? Like with the whole restaurant thing? I’m being serious, not trying to be shady.” She smiles politely.
“Of course I’m being shady. I want to know the tea. Is she going to court? Is she going to be a criminal, a felon? What is going on?! Spill girl!”
Yvonne: “Oh yeah, has it been thrown out of court yet?”
Bree leans in, looking at Sheridan. Lorelei stares at her sipping her ice water.
“Lorelei’s so messy.” She chuckles.
Sheridan: “Well, firstly I know I shared with some of you that Martin hadn’t returned home in a couple weeks due to all the mess in the press and the case, but he returned last night before I left. I think we are good but I’ll have to unpack that when I return…as well as the case because my court date is set for the following month after we return. I’m nervous, but fairly confident I’ll be vindicated. It’s just the waiting that kills me.
Grace nods, listening to Sheridan.
Mona: “That’s good to hear, Sheridan!”
Lorelei: “Ohhhh, so you have to go to court?” Her eyes widen.
Sheridan: “Yeah, I’m suing her and she wants to lose a case I suppose.”
The camera pans to Yvonne who listens in on the ladies.
“I don’t know that a man could just walk in my house after disappearing for weeks. Locks would change, new security code, and I’m ordering the house staff to block his number. But if Sheridan says they’re good, it’s her marriage to figure out.”
Sheridan: “I can’t say much but she hasn’t done what was asked of her for the case to be rectified.”
Lorelei nods and looks towards Bree then back at Sheridan.
Lorelei: “Well, I wish you the best of luck with it. Truly.”
Bree: “Wait but, just a question, did Martin leave cause he’s scared of going to court or…”
Yvonne: “Is that your business?”
“Didn’t her husband leave because he was scared of growing old with a wrinkled wife?’
Sheridan: “Martin left because of the article your friend put out that said I talked shit about him at BellCamp with the staff. He felt ridiculed. That added to the stress of our relationship issues that I’ve shared very publicly with you women, it’s just a lot. We were in couples counseling before this all blew up to begin with.”
Grace’s eyes widen.
“I had… no idea how bad things were between Sheridan and Martin. It’s terrible. I really feel for her right now, she’s got the weight of the world on her shoulders.”
“Martin and I were just getting back to us following his infidelity, our divorce, my infertility, and coming to terms with me being a stepmother to MJ. This may have been the nail in the coffin.”
Lorelei: “Well…” She smiles. “I am starved.
Bree: “Oh wow.” She looks to Sheridan. “The couples counseling — I had no idea, I hope it’s getting better!”
Yvonne makes a face at Bree.
Yvonne: “How’s your counseling going, Bree?”
Lorelei: “That’s not nice.” She shakes her head at Yvonne.
Sheridan: “Martin and I always work out our issues. We may have ended our marriage but we’ve never ended our relationship. We’ve never lived apart. We will be fine, I just know it.”
Grace: “You will be.”
Bree: “Every couple works differently.”
Yvonne: “Is that what your psychiatrist tells you?” She sips her wine and looks at Bree.
Lorelei: “Yvonne.” She looks at her and puts a hand up. “No.”
Bree: “That’s what people with common sense know, Yvonne.” She rolls her eyes.
“Yvonne is coming for Bree hard right now and it’s unwarranted. It’s not right. I get it, she doesn’t like her, but these are low blows.”
Yvonne: “I just want to understand why the most unstable person at the table is trying to take shots.” She shrugs. “People with common sense don’t shave their heads bald on Instagram Live, now do they?”
Mona: “What now?!”
Sheridan: “Oh wow, you did that on Instagram Live?” Her eyes widen.
Bree: “What?” She looks confused. “Im sorry Yvonne, we all know you’re not good with social media, you probably mistake me for someone else.”
Lorelei: “Wait. Wait.” She puts her hands up. “This is going left. I want to actually address someone with you all while we’re all here.”
Yvonne: “Whatever. I know you know what I’m talking about. Let’s eat.”
Waiters begin bringing the food out for the women.
“Poor Yvonne, this social media thing is confusing to her, bless her Jurassic heart!”
As the girls begin eating, Lorelei doesn’t touch her plate and looks around the table. She grabs Bree’s hand.
Lorelei: “I just want to say — Earlier today, we all were having a nice time and then you three…” She points to Yvonne, Grace, and Sheridan. “Decided to ice Bree out. Why? I invited her here on this trip and I just don’t feel like it’s right of you guys to do that to her. We can’t all just be cordial?”
Mona nods and looks to Yvonne, Grace, and Bree. Grace looks up.
Grace: “I wouldn’t say we were icing her out, that’s a stretch.”
Sheridan: “I’m sorry? Icing out? There were four of you and only three of us at the tables.” She laughs.
Bree: “Well you went out of your way to avoid not just me, but Lorelei as well.”
Mona: “You all clearly didn’t want to sit with her.”
Lorelei: “Gracie, come on.” She shakes her head at Grace.
Grace’s eyes widen at Lorelei.
Grace: “We sat at a smaller table, I had a beverage! I needed space.”
Lorelei: “Why are you yelling, Grace? Calm down.”
Yvonne: “At least, speaking for myself, I did not want to be around Bree. And that’s no secret.”
Mona: “Well, I don’t want to be around you Yvonne but I’m sitting at this table. We all make sacrifices to have a good time.”
Yvonne: “I’ve done nothing to you, not in the way Bree has disrespected both Sheridan and I.” She looks across the table at Mona.
Sheridan: “Exactly. Bree did a fucked up thing and didn’t apologize. I don’t want or care to be around her.”
Mona: “Just saying.” She shrugs.
Sheridan: “If I have a choice to not sit with Bree, I will always choose to sit elsewhere because what she did to me…was foul as fuck and everyone except Lorelia agreed with me.”
“The girls are glazing over the fact that Bree has no remorse for her bad actions and evil intentions.”
Lorelei: “That is just so childish though, Sheridan! You need to get over it. You hold grudges, let it go. LET IT GO.”
“I understand Sheridan’s reasoning for being upset with Bree, I do. But… she can be mad at someone about something for like 5,000 days and it’s exhausting. Does it not hurt being so angry and miserable, bitch?” She cocks her neck. “She’s so pathetic.”
Nearby tables start looking over.
Bree: “Can I just say one thing? At the end of the day, we can dislike each other’s behavior, we can not be friends or whatever but I think as grown women we should be able to coexist peacefully, that’s all. I don’t expect, nor want you girls to be my friends, but we are all here together, what’s the point if we’re gonna go separate ways all the time?”
Yvonne: “So is sitting at a table away from you not peaceful? You’re 50 years old complaining about table seating? Get a job.” She scoffs and goes back to eating her fish.
Sheridan: “Grace, Mona, Yvonne, and Monse all have condemned your actions towards me, Bree. What you did is outrageously evil and you have no remorse.”
Bree: “Well had you said at least ‘hi’ to me that would’ve been nice, all you can do is try and make fun of whoever doesn’t bow down to you, it’s ridiculous Yvonne.”
Mona: “It’s not about table seating, it’s about not being able to sit together as a group on a group trip!”
Bree: ‘What she said!”
Grace: “Mona, why are you getting involved now?” She flashes her a look.
Mona: “Because I’m right, Grace.”
Grace: “No, you’re not. You’re a suck up.”
Mona: “Look who’s talking.” She laughs.
“Nobody asked Mona to flap her lips. She needs to shut up and stay silent. This has nothing to do with her. Go look for a moment somewhere else.”
The camera focuses back on Yvonne and Bree arguing.
Yvonne: “I didn’t make fun of you, Bree. I established a boundary and you broke it several times.” She holds up a finger. “Then, you turned around to cause further, unnecessary chaos with Sheridan.”
Sheridan points to Bree.
Sheridan: “You are evil to the core. You have no remorse. I pity those who love you, because to me you are unlovable and have no redeeming qualities.”
Bree: “Oh shut up Sheridan.” She rolls her eyes. “What did I do that’s so evil? Talk to Vanessa? We still don’t know if she’s guilty or not… may I remember you, you’re going to court my dear.”
“I stand by what I did and said, you can suck it.”
Sheridan sets her napkin down on the table.
Sheridan: “Now, I’m done addressing this evil, toxic bitch. She needs professional help because she is rotten to the core. When I win my case bitch, you’re going to kiss my feet.” She laughs and begins gathering her things at the table.
We see that Grace and Mona are still arguing on their end of the table, Bree is now saying something back to Sheridan. We see Lorelei looking around, over stimulated and not sure what to do.
Lorelei: “You guys! This is truly so stupid! Be quiet!”
The girls continue arguing and onlookers look over. Lorelei stands up and hurls a glass at the wall and it shatters. we can hear some of the girls and other diners scream.
Lorelei: “BE QUIET! ALL OF YOU!”
The room goes silent. Restaurant workers go to clean up the glass. The stunned girls look over at Lorelei who is standing.
Grace: “What the hell is wrong with you?”
Sheridan: “Oh please!”
Mona: “Lorelei!”
Bree: “God — Are you okay?”
Yvonne: “Are you Lorelei or Ren?”
Lorelei: “ ‘What the hell is wrong with me?’ Grace — you guys are acting like animals. We are in another country, acting like this? Fighting over petty shit!”
Yvonne: “Lorelei, you brought it up! ”
Grace: “And you just threw a glass at the wall, are you kidding me?”
Lorelei: “I don’t recall bringing it up, Yvonne!”
Yvonne: “You’re too young for amnesia, girl!”
There’s noise as Sheridan backs away from the table by pushing her chair.
Sheridan: “The delusions tonight…a lot girls.” She purses her lips and grabs her bag.
Lorelei waves Sheridan off.
Lorelei: “Good. You can leave. You love running away.”
Bree: “Remember, you still have to face a court!” She looks Sheridan up and down as she begins to leave, smirking.
All of a sudden, Sheridan turns around and sets her bag on the table as she briskly makes her way back to Lorelei.
Sheridan: “I love running away?” She laughs. “I’m right here.”
Lorelei bucks up as Mona quickly gets between the two women.
“Damn Sheridan is going ghetto tonight, is she gonna punch Lorelei?”
Lorelei: “Don’t come over here. Don’t get in my face.”
Mona: “Oh no this isn’t China all over again.”
Yvonne: “Yeah, wait a minute — Let’s not get into each other’s personal space.”
Lorelei: “You are acting like a common law criminal, look at you! Acting all hood. You going to fight me?” She starts trying to get around Mona.
Grace looks around, panicked.
Grace: “Oh my God, we have to get out of here…”
“If Sheridan and Lorelei get into an altercation; Vanessa, Bree, and the Beverly Beach courts will be the least of her worries. We can’t get her a pardon from Prague prison, can we?”
Sheridan circles back to the table to grab her purse before turning back to Lorelei on her way out.
Sheridan: “I don’t fight bottom of the barrel cum dumps. You’re not worth my time, sweetie.”
Lorelei looks at Sheridan and cocks her neck, taken aback.
Lorelei: “Bitch, you are a high mileage whore! Don’t you ever come at me like that again. You… you piece of shit. You are getting every thing you deserve!”
Yvonne walks over to Sheridan.
Sheridan: “Yvonne, babe. I’m going to go check on Monsè before I go back to our servant quarters Lorelei afforded us.”
Bree: “ Well Sheridan look at it this way: if you go to jail you’re already gonna be used to being in a small room!”
Bree: “Oh, bitch please. Sit on your steak knife and rotate.” She rolls her eyes and begins walking to the exit with Yvonne.
Yvonne and Sheridan stop at the elevator and the two women hug.
Yvonne: “Give Monsè my best and here…” She gives Sheridan $2. “Get something for her stomach pain.”
“Bree and Lorelei are disgusting low lives. I think I’m done with Lorelei. For real this time.”
The camera follows Yvonne as she makes her way back to the table and rejoins Bree, Mona, Lorelei, and Grace.
Mona: “This night was a disaster.”
The camera pans to Lorelei who is on the ground helping a staff member clean up her glass throw.
Lorelei: “I’m…I’m sorry.”
“Sheridan is literally the only person who can get me to act out of character. I mean… truly. This bitch is like my Kryptonite. She will breathe and I am ready to go to war.” She mumbles. “Big ass slutty bitch.”
Yvonne: “So much for a fun trip…” She shoots a look at Lorelei.
As the girls get up to walk out, Mona and Grace have a conversation.
Mona: “Stop trying to come for me, there’s no point. This is the second time you’ve done it on the trip for no reason and I’m sick of it.”
Grace: “Come for you? If I was, you’d know about it. You just can’t handle the heat, Mona. Let’s be real.”
Mona: “Are you capable of having a conversation where you’re not using cryptic catch phrases and talking like an actual human? Just stop coming for me! You seem to be looking for issues with everything I do!”
Grace: “I don’t want an issue. I just feel like you’re not being genuine. I don’t know if it’s a cry for attention or looking to be relevant but… it’s not a cute act, my love. Let’s also remember that I have apologized to you but you’ve still been frosty towards me when I’ve extended several olive branches.”
“I think Mona secretly lives for me. She seems to thrive off the confrontation. For a ditzy bitch with a cameo in last Christmas’ Hallmark movie, she sure does love the drama.”
Mona: “Ok, don’t talk to me anymore Grace I’m sick of you constantly critiquing me. The glam this morning, me literally talking at dinner. I understand you’re up Yvonne’s asshole, so I get why you’re doing this.”
Grace: “I’m not up anyone’s asshole. You need to worry about that. You and your little puppet, Monsè.”
Mona: “Wow.” She laughs. “You’re a toxic minion of Yvonne’s. And honestly you’re just a straight up cunt.”
“I don’t typically use that type of language but Grace just pisses me off so much, more than Yvonne. She thinks the world and everything I do revolves around her, which it doesn’t. I don’t address her or talk to her. Period.”
We see the girls exit the restaurant and make their way back onto the Sprinter van. We get a night shot of Prague before the episode ends.
