[S4E6]: Go Yell It On The Mountain
The episode starts as a jet can be heard taking off. Elegant music starts playing as the shot switches to a private jet flying away from the runway. Inside; Ren, Sheridan, and Consuela sit in the seats. Sheridan turns away from the window to face Ren.
Sheridan: “Babyyyy I am so excited for this trip!” She smiles.
Ren: “Me too!” A flight attendant brings the woman champagne. “It’s much needed, there has been so much going on lately. I’m hoping me can all have fun.”
“Me and Sheridan are taking Aaron’s PJ to Aspen a little earlier to get my place ready for the rest of the girls. I’m excited to have all the girls in one place and really relax and be ones with nature. I think my ski chalet will be the perfect place to finally get some peace within the group.”
Sheridan sips her champagne.
Sheridan: “I’m hoping to get to know Elyse more and her friend — I can’t remember her name. We’ve barely even chatted.”
Ren: “I’m guessing you’re talking about Grace Faroe.” She crosses her legs.
Sheridan: “Yeah, Grace sounds familiar.”
Ren: “She’s cool, a little stuck up, but I like her.” She laughs. “I think you and Elyse will get along once you get to know eachother, she’s really fun.
Sheridan: “I hope so! Have you spoken to Lorelei much since your party? There was alot to unpack there.”
Ren: “Honestly, not really. We are in a good place but she doesn’t call me and I don’t call her.” She shrugs. “The party was a hot mess…”
Sheridan: “It really was. I honestly didn’t like how it all went down…”
The camera zooms in on Consuela sitting towards the back of the plane, there are two empty champagne flutes in front of her and she is being handed another glass of champagne. The shot goes back to Sheridan and Ren.
Ren: “The energy was off and people were being so shady. Imani? I don’t know about that one.”
“Lorelei and her family…? They are — an interesting bunch of people.” She cocks her head. “I don’t know how I feel about them. Let’s just leave it that.”
Sheridan: “I don’t think Imani has been given a fair shot — Granted, she and I haven’t spoken that much and she had some shady comments to say about me…but Pat seemed to be really hating on her? How does Pat know all of this, care so much, and want to ruin Imani’s life?”
Sheridan’s Confessional:
“The drama Pat is stirring up with the sisters is not cute. Ren is my closest friend in this group so I do also want to give her a heads up that I told Lorelei about what Pat has been saying the other night when she came over to cook.”
Ren: “I honestly feel like Pat has been stirring the pot too much which is why I wanted the group to be all women who are actually friends. Friends have each other’s backs so I do think someone should tell Lorelei about the allegations Pat has been making.”
Sheridan: “Well…about that.” She giggles. “Lorelei came over the other night and I told her everything. She isn’t very happy.”
Ren gasps.
Ren: “Holy shit! What did she say?” She gulps down her champagne.
“One thing I love about Sheridan is she is blunt. She has no problem laying it all out on the table.”
Sheridan: “Well she showed me photos of her and Imani from their childhood — so I believe her. She is pissed at Pat. I think Pat had an agenda coming into this group and knew Lorelei was the easiest woman in the group to get the girls to come for based on her past history.”
“Lorelei has clearly had a tough time with this group of girls and I’m not going to let her get bullied on this trip.”
Ren: “See, that’s not acceptable. You can’t just go around spreading vicious rumors like that and think it’s cute. I’m starting to question Pat’s motives.”
Sheridan nods in agreement.
Sheridan: “Same. Something is seriously off with her, Ren.”
Ren: “Lorelei is a liar but saying she is hiring someone to be her sister is ALOT and pretty defamatory. I think when the time comes, Pat will have to answer for herself.” She leans back in her seat.
Sheridan: “I know. Like, I totally get why you ladies have your guard up with Lorelei because of what she did to the group last year — That was so foul with all the lying — but in this instance I do believe Pat has ulterior motives. Someone is not being honest.”
Ren: “We’ll find out soon enough.” The flight attendant brings them two more glasses of champagne. “Cheers to being REAL and not fake like some of these bitches.” She laughs and holds her glass up.
Sheridan: “Cheers, baby!”
The clink their glasses together. The shot switches to a jet landing on a landing strip surrounded by snowy mountains.
Lauren and Elyse can be seen exiting a private jet carrying their belongings. They get out onto the tarmac and walk to the large black Escalade waiting for them nearby. A huge man in a suit helps them load their stuff in and they get into the back of the car together. The driver begins driving towards the mountains.
Elyse: “We finally made it!” She claps giddily. “I hope Ren doesn’t have anything planned right away because I need a nap, Tessa had me up all night! I should’ve invited her, I hate being without my bumpkin.”
“We have arrived, baby! I haven’t been to Aspen since I had that rendevouz with my personal trainer. He’s no longer my personal trainer…after I found out he was married.” She cringes then laughs. “But oh, was he good in bed! I think I might still have his photo in my phone.”
She begins scrolling through her phone and holds up a blurred out picture.Producer: “Okay Elyse.” He laughs. “You guys are both naked.”
“And? I told you he was good looking and so am I.”
Lauren finishes taking a swig from her waterbottle.
Lauren: “You guys are too cute! Now I need to find someone.”
Elyse: “We’ll find you someone, Lola. Trust me.” She looks over at her and smiles.
Lauren: “Good! Now I have you and a matchmaker looking.” She looks out the window.
The shot switches to show the beautiful, snowy mountain road Lauren and Elyse are going up.
“Aspen is gorgeous and I hear the cold air is great for your skin.” She touches her cheeks, grinning. “I enjoy taking hikes and mainly staying close to the resorts when I’m here. I hope the girls don’t try and get me to ski or snowboard or anything crazy like that.” She shakes her head.
Elyse: “Now this is just beautiful. I’m so happy Ren decided to plan this trip.”
Lauren: “Right! I’ve seen pictures of her place on Instagram but this is my first time going to her chalet. Let’s hope everyone can just get along.”
Elyse laughs.
Elyse: “Get along? That’s like asking Lorelei to not get intimate with her step children, It’ll never happen! But I’m with you. I hope we can all come to some sort of place where we can have fun together. I’m not trying to be out in the cold with any venomous bitches.”
“Lauren hopes we all get along?” She laughs hysterically. “Has she seen this group?”
Lauren: “Well I know a great resort here where we can get some massages. Maybe that will relax everyone. We’ll have to see what Ren has planned for us.”
Elyse: “I’m just glad she invited Grace. She’s my rock. Especially after last years debacle, she really made me come back from the UK. At first I said no way, baby! But, she’s a good friend. Have you two spent any time together?” She raises her eyebrow.
Lauren sighs.
Lauren: “Yes, she seemed very lovely when I met her but then she told me her side of the feud between her and Lorelei and honestly she made some really bold statements about Lorelei. I’m sure she’s told you…” She looks at Elyse. “Anyways, hearing Lorelei’s side of their issue…it was a completely different story. Then this whole thing with Lorelei and her sister not being related is adding weirdness. I just don’t get a good vibe from Grace.” She shakes her head.
Elyse reaches over and pats Lauren’s thigh.
Elyse: “I don’t even know if I should say anything but this year I’m all about transparency and I am the closest with you two in the group. Grace has gotten the impression you’re not a good person. But you both are. I think you both got off on the wrong door…” She scrunches up her brow and looks up, thinking. “Or is it foot? I can never remember…Door? Foot?”
Lauren chuckles.
Lauren: “Foot. Well, I’m here to have a good time. Hopefully she is too. I’m really not sure why she would even have that impression of me though.”
Elyse: “Let’s just make a promise not to rupture anyone’s boob implants!”
Lauren laughs.
Lauren: “Deal.”
The scene fades as they drive higher into the mountains.
Whimsical music plays as we see shots of the beautiful snow covered mountaintops of Aspen. We get an aerial view of an expensive looking neighborhood nestled into the mountainside. One house is then zoomed in on. Inside, Ren and Sheridan are giggling on the living room couch with glasses of wine in hand. The doorbell rings and Consuela scurries over to open it. Lauren, Elyse, Grace, and Lorelei have arrived.
Consuela: “Welcome madames! Come in!” She scoots aside so the girls can enter.
Lauren: “Hi Consuela!” She takes a wine glass from her.
Grace: “Thank you so much.”
Elyse: “Oh wow! Look at what Ren has for us! This girl knows how to plan a trip, beautiful home.” She turns to Consuela and gently places a hand on her arm. “Thank you, Consuela!”
Ren and Sheridan come to the foyer to greet the ladies.
Grace: “Okay Ren in red!” She claps.
Ren: “Hi beautifuls!” She comes over and gives them hugs and air kisses.
Sheridan: “Hey hey! Oh Grace, that blue is beautiful on you!” She gives Grace a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
Grace: “Balenciaga, darling! Flown in from New York.” She winks. “Good to see you.”
Elyse: “Gracie always travels in style.” She grins and links arms with Grace.
“I’m seeing Lorelei out of the corner of my eye… I’m seeing Lauren out of the corner of my eye… I’m in the room. This should be a trip for the books.” She claps and laughs.
The camera then pans to Lorelei who is being noticeably quiet and sulks behind the rest of the ladies. Sheridan walks over to her and gives her a hug.
Sheridan: “Hey love, you good?”
Lorelei looks at Sheridan and forces a smile.
Lorelei: “Oh, yeah. I’m all good girl.”
Grace steps aside from the group as she quickly answers her phone.
Grace: “Regina! What?! What. Do. You. Want. I told you! I am on VACATION! What? Fine. Okay. When I get back, we need to talk about your employment. GoodBYE.” She hastily hangs up her phone.
The other girls side eye her.
Grace: “Sorry about that. Work.” She shrugs.
Ren: “Oky well attention ladies!” Everyone quiets down and looks to Ren. “You each have your own suite! All the same size…except for me of course.” She laughs. “I will obviously be getting the largest room. Before Consuela helps us take stuff to the rooms, lets all go sit in the living room for a second and catch up.”
Grace: “That works for me.” She smiles and raises her glass.
Sheridan: “Shots in the living room, divas!”
Ren, Lauren, Lorelei, Elyse, Grace, and Sheridan make their way to the living room and sit down.
Elyse: “This places is huge!”
“Huge alright. I’m really not sure what is bigger: Lorelei’s ass or this house? Either way, gigantic.”
Consuela comes in with a round of shots for the girls. Ren immediately grabs one and takes it.
Ren: “Damn, that was smooth!”
Lorelei crosses her legs and turns to Sheridan.
Lorelei: “Give me something, chile. Please.”
Sheridan nods and grabs Lorelei a shot.
Sheridan: “Bottoms up, lady!”
“I’m still seething from the whole Pat fiasco and I can’t get my mind off of it. On top of that, I’m going to be stuck in this house with Grace & Elyse.” She rolls her eyes. “Just…fuck me. My god.”
As Grace and Elyse snap selfies, Ren leans in looking concerned to talk to Lorelei.
Ren: “Lorelei, you look uncomfortable. What’s up?”
Sheridan looks at Ren.
“Well that’s one way to do it Ren…”
Lorelei: “I’m just…I’m irritated. I got told some stuff recently and I’m pissed.”
Sheridan: “Address it.” She nods.
“I haven’t even finished my first glass of wine and we’re starting. Who’s surprised? Not me.” She rolls her eyes.
Elyse turns her back to the group to look out the window and Grace looks around the room and lightly whistles, both clearly ignoring what Lorelei is saying. Elyse then takes out her phone and laughs obnoxiously loud.
Elyse: “Sorry guys, Tessa.” She holds up her phone. “She’s so funny.”
Ren shoots Elyse a mean look then gets up and sits next to Lorelei, she rubs her back. Sheridan and Lauren look at the other girls.
“Is it just me or are Elyse and Grace being extremely rude? Why won’t they listen to what Lorelei has to say? We have to listen when they’re upset!”
Ren: “Grace, Elyse…You guys, Lorelei is trying to speak. Let's give her that.”
Grace rolls her eyes and stops whistling.
Elyse: “My ears are listening, Ren. I know how to multitask!” She scrunches up her nose.
“It’s typical Elyse to be rude while someone is speaking. I don’t like her ass at all, but I’m a fucking lady. I can be polite, but sometimes I forget Elyse was raised in a barn.”
Lorelei: “It’s fine — I’m just going to cut to the chase. I was told Pat was going around and telling people around town that Imani isn’t my real sister. It’s obviously bullshit…” She looks at the girls. “I don’t know that Pat woman and I’m not going to give her anymore oxygen. I find it incredibly insulting.” She pulls out her phone and hands it to Ren. “You can pass it around. Imani is my half sister, we share the same mother, different fathers but we did grow up together in our younger years.”
Ren looks at the phone.
Ren: “Yup…that’s her.”
“The picture looked like a little boy, of course it was Imani.”
Lauren is passed the phone and she nods.
“Today I learned that Imani has definitely had a nose job.”
Sheridan: “Lorelei, babe. I believe you 100%.”
Lorelei: “Thank you. I’m just getting tired of being brought into drama. It’s really getting old.”
Grace and Elyse look at eachother.
Grace: “Is that it? That’s your news? Okay.” She shrugs and passes the phone to Elyse.
Elyse doesn’t look and immediately hands it to Lorelei.
Elyse: “Great! Glad you two are related. We didn’t need your 23 and Me.” She yawns.
Sheridan glares at Elyse.
Sheridan: “Can you calm down? Please.”
“Grace and Elyse really have no respect for Lorelei and it’s sad to watch them openly treat her this way. It’s disgusting behavior from women old enough to be my aunties.”
Grace looks to Sheridan.
Grace: “She’s fine.” She laughs and waves her hand at Sheridan dismissively.
Sheridan: “We are all friends and I think we should be a bit more respectful ladies, that’s all.”
Lorelei ignores Grace and Elyse, she shakes her head.
Lorelei: “Anyways, I’d like to move on. I’ve already proposed this to everyone, but it seems like I have to do it again.” She looks at Elyse. “I’m being genuine. I’d like to move on with EVERYONE. I’m a mother now and I’m not interested in low based drama.” She shrugs. “Take it or leave it it.” She takes a shot.
Lauren pats Lorelei on the back.
Lauren: “I totally believe you, girl. Thank you for clearing this all up. Like we agreed at Olivia’s wedding, lets just all move on.”
Elyse: “Sure. We can all move on. But I’d like a genuine apology. I mean…I can co exist for this trip.” She looks to Grace and shrugs.
Ren rolls her eyes at Elyse and Grace.
“The lesbians are really coming for Lorelei and it’s vicious. I just want us to get along. Elyse has this deep, deep vendetta against Lorelei and I guess it requires about 100 apologies.”
Lorelei: “I just apologized, Elyse.”
Elyse: “Okay. Sure.” She smiles.
Grace stifles a laugh at Elyse’s dismissive response. Lorelei now looks at Elyse with a slight attitude.
Lorelei: “I apologize for calling you a crackhead. I’m sorry.”
Elyse: “Okay. Sure.” She smiles once again.
“Elyse, I’m so sorry for calling you a liar. I’m so sorry for speaking bad about you on social media. I’m so sorry for calling you a drug addict. Or was it crack whore? Anyways, I just want to move on. Said Lorelei…NEVER! That was NOT an apology.”
Sheridan: “Yay! Progress! Let’s take a shot to progress!”
The scene fades out as the girls take a shot.
Real Housewives of Salt Lake City-esque music plays as we see the sun go down under the mountains and cover Aspen with a veil of darkness. The lit up main street shops are shown. The camera zooms up a nearby mountain and shows a restaurant that overlooks the town. On the beautiful outdoor patio, the girls are being lead to their private table.
Lorelei: “Uh, I love the view! It’s unreal.” She looks around.
The ladies take their seats, ironically Grace and Lorelei sit next to eachother. Grace shoots Lorelei a look.
Grace: “Don’t get excited. It’s just dinner…”
“I’m capable of extending an olive branch out to Lorelei tonight. A very TINY one. Not the whole damn tree, I’m not stupid.”
Lorelei: “Anyways.” She digs through her purse.
“Grace is looking for a moment and she’s not going to get one from me.” She smiles. “These girls constantly poke and prod at me and I’m over it. Grace, worry about yourself.”
Sheridan: “Did all the girls get a good nap in? I know I did.” She chuckles.
Lauren looks at Sheridan across the table.
Lauren: “Girl, if I took a nap I would not be here right now with how much we drank earlier.” She laughs.
Elyse: “Speaking of drinking…shots anyone?!”
Producer: “You’ve been drinking alot. You haven’t stopped since the trip started.”
“How else do you think I’m going to deal with these bitches? I’ve traded one vice in for another. I’m an equal opportunity kinda gal!” She winks at the camera.
Sheridan: “Yessss! Shots!”
The waiter quickly brings out a round of shots. Grace downs hers immediately.
Elyse: “Mmmm! Bring one over here, baby! Elyse is ready!” She grabs a shot.
Ren picks up her shot glass.
Ren: “Cheers to our first night in Aspen! I’m so glad all of you are here.” She smiles, looking around the table.
Elyse: “Cheers!”
Sheridan: “Cheers, baby!”
Lorelei: “Thank you, Ren!”
“Are we actually all having fun together tonight? This is what we need! Let’s lighten up. It’s always DRAMA no matter what in this group. Bring on the fun!”
The camera now pans to Grace and Lorelei. Grace grabs another shot and turns, handing it to Lorelei.
Grace: “Olive branch…” She smiles softly.
Lorelei looks at Grace then takes the shot.
Lorelei: “Seriously?”
Ren nudges Lauren and motions to Lorelei and Grace talking. Lauren raises her eyebrow. Grace leans in to whisper to Lorelei.
Grace: “Look, I don’t want things to be awkward. Let’s just try and get along?”
Lorelei: “Alright. Deal.” She smiles at Grace.
“Look, I’m no spring chicken. I have bigger things to worry about. Plus, I’m too damn old to be fighting like a schoolgirl.” She laughs. “Maybe it’s time to move on.”
Lauren scrunches her face up as she looks over at Grace and Lorelei.
Lauren: “Oh, so you just want to be cool after getting involved in your drama and then telling Elyse I’m not a good person?”
Dramatic music plays as the girls all look at Lauren, shocked. Sheridan leans into Ren and grabs her arm.
“Lauren’s shot hit fast!”
Grace turns to Lauren and cocks her head.
Grace: “Excuse me?”
Lauren: “I just heard you and Lorelei make up as if nothing ever happened.” She motions to the two of them. “But you decided to have an explosive argument in my home…where you could have worked this out weeks ago. I’m confused.”
Lorelei makes a face and sips her drink.
Lorelei: “Whew!”
Elyse: “Oh my god Lola!” She gasps dramatically.
Ren looks at Lauren concerned.
Ren: “She thinks you’ve been talking about her behind her back.”
Lauren: “She’s been talking about ME behind my back apparently.”
Grace: “Listen…what I” She points to herself dramatically. “decide to do is MY business. You put yourself in the middle of me and Lorelei. We could’ve sorted things out ourselves…clearly.” She looks to Lorelei then back at Lauren. “You just love to stir the pot, Lauren. You made this worse.”
She loudly sips a drink through her straw. She cackles.
“My god! The girls are fighting! All over me and Grace half assing a makeup. Mhm. I’m just going to continue to eat my food and mind the business that pays me.”
Lauren: “I was not stirring the pot!” She looks insulted. “I am trying to be a good friend to Lorelei because we started on a bad note, just like you guys!”
Sheridan raises a hand and turns to Grace.
Sheridan: “Hold up — Grace, you have to understand what she’s saying though, right? Lauren has a right to be upset.”
“Now when I said for Lauren to speak to Grace I didn’t mean like this! Poor girl has blown a gasket! BOOM!” She laughs. “I’ve never seen her like this before.”
Grace: “Honey…” She scoffs and rolls her eyes. “I’m only giving what I’ve gotten. I was told personally that Lauren has been saying that I’m…” She begins counting on her fingers. “deranged, a psycho, have mental problems and that I need to get “help”. What the hell is wrong with you?!” Her tone turns serious and she glares at Lauren.
Sheridan: “Lauren has said those things about you?” Her eyes widen.
Grace: “I believe she has, yes.” She nods.
Elyse: “Ladies…” She looks to Lauren. “Did you really call her a psycho.”
Lauren shakes her head.
Lauren: “No, I never said any of those things. That is ridiculous. Who told you that?”
Ren: “Yeah, Grace, who told you?” She raises her eyebrow.
Grace: “Regardless of who told me, it’s what Lauren said. Let me just gather you all for a second. She’s calling me a psycho!” She looks around the table. “Do you realize how fucked up that is?! I’m deranged because I stand up for myself?!”
Ren: “Baby, you’re acting deranged now.”
Lorelei ping pongs her head back and forth, looking at everyone.
Elyse: “Now, that’s not cool at all.” She looks at Ren. “Grace is a strong woman. Do you think I’d be friends with a psycho?”
Sheridan: “I think you should just tell us who told you, Grace.” She shrugs.
“I feel very attacked by what Lauren has said about me. As a black woman, it hurts that someone is calling me names like deranged and psycho for standing up for myself. It’s got all sorts of racial connotations to it…ones that I’m unfortunately all too familiar with.” She hangs her head.
Grace talks to Lauren.
Grace: “You set me up by calling me to your house. I know you did. And I’m telling you now…I see you for everything you really are. The true you.” She glares at her.
Lauren: “Grace, I had nothing but good intentions inviting you over to clear the air with Lorelei. You were the one that started in on her the second she walked into the door! Do you remember the same day I do?” She raises her eyebrow.
Grace: “This is exactly what I mean. In your eyes, I’m the bad guy. That doesn’t really surprise me coming from you. I’ll tell you what I see through my eyes… and ignorant person who can’t admit she’s been caught out!”
Lauren looks Grace dead in the eyes.
Lauren: “You haven’t called me out on anything, actually. I don’t really care if you think otherwise.”
Lorelei shakes her head and continues eating.
Ren: “Okay, Grace. I think thats taking it a bit far.” She rolls her eyes.
Grace: “No, Ren. I feel how I feel and I said what I said. Nobody is going to mute me or censor me. Not happening.”
Sheridan: “You’re doing too much, Grace! You won’t even tell us who told you these things so I’ll just assume you’re lying.”
Grace: “This has NOTHING to do with you. Shut up and go back to your corner.” She puts her hand up at Sheridan. “Thank you.”
“Listen… the girls don’t need to know that it was Pat who told me. All they need to know is that I was told information from a reliable and useful source. I..” She points to herself dramatically. “choose what information I share with people. Me!” She points to herself again.
Sheridan: “I have the right to ask questions, bitch!”
“If I had a dollar for everytime Grace condescendingly put her hand up and dismissed someone…I’d be a helluva lot richer.”
Elyse turns to Grace and strokes her arm.
Elyse: “Grace, it’s not worth it. Let’s settles down.” Grace nods and Elyse. “I think we can all agree to disagree here.”
“When Gracie gets like this, there’s no going back. Lola’s got some explaining to do. But who told Grace this? They may be the real culprit to this crime.” She sips her drink. “Detective Elyse is on the scene!”
Lauren flips her hair and turns her shoulder not to face Grace.
Lauren: “Yeah, I’m done with all of this.” She motions to the table, upset.
Grace: “You’re running from the truth, Lauren. Like you always have done.”
“Now I am starting to think this girl is actually psycho. What is she even talking about? This dinner just solidified how I feel about Grace. I am just going to ignore her the rest of the trip so I can have some fun. I don’t want to waste my time with people that like to start and spread petty drama.”
Ren: “Okay, I think it’s time to move on. We’re in a public setting and I’m not doing this here.”
The waiter comes over to take the girls orders. Lauren hands him the menu.
Lauren: “I’m not hungry, thank you.”
Elyse: “Can I get a sea bass to go? And the steak? Thank you! Medium well please.”
“And there you have it! My best friend is being accused of being psycho. My other friend is accused of running from the truth. I complimented Sheridan on her outfit earlier tonight. And I ordered food to go? Who am I? I don’t even know anymore!” She throws her hands up.
Lorelei: “Yeah, I’ll just have the pesto flatbread to go, thanks.” She hands the waiter her menu.
“These girls are fucking nuts.” She shakes her head. “I’m so used to them now that I almost found that entertaining rather than horrifying. Miss Lauren has come out of that shell tonight, honey. Yassss.” She snaps. “It truly was dinner and a show.”
The episode ends as the girls awkwardly sit at the table, waiting for their to go orders.
