[S3E5]: A Desert Divided
The episode opens with a montage of all the ladies — minus Ashantai — getting ready and packing their bags for their trip to Sedona. Upbeat music plays as the Beverly Beach airport is shown and a plane takes off then lands at the Phoenix airport moments later. The camera switches to outside the airport where Ren, Lauren, and Elyse are seen rolling their luggage to a large black car and getting in. All three ladies sit in the backseat together.
Elyse: “So how long is this car ride again?”
Ren: “I think it’s about two hours from Phoenix to Sedona. Not bad.”
Lauren: “Not bad at all! I’m just so happy we all had time to go on this girls trip! It’s beautiful here.” She looks out the window.
Ren: “I'm really hoping this trip is fun and not full of bullshit…like that dinner the other night.” She rolls her eyes.
Lauren: “That was crazy.” She shakes her head.
Elyse: “The couples dinner was an absolute mess. The food way okay but what in the hell was wrong with Ashantai? Her going off was psychotic!”
Ren: “I have no idea what happened before I got there but Ashantai is fucking looney tunes. Is she still coming?”
“It’s clear she doesn’t fit in and I feel kind of bad for her. Just kidding. I don’t.” She laughs.
Elyse: “Mhm, she let me know she’d be a day late, so she’s coming tomorrow. If she acts like a lunatic on this getaway I swear I will have my security boomerang her back to Walmart.”
Lauren: “That’s the thing! She and I had lunch the other week and she was pleasant and so kind, I really liked her. The other night she was a completely different person. It was the strangest thing.”
Elyse: “She’s a fraud. She showed us her true colors. She was hiding it from us, most women in this circle are hiding things.” Ren raises and eyebrow. “I’ve seen some things and it is really starting to make me wonder. Not just with her.”
Lauren: “By this age, we all have skeletons in the closet.” She laughs. “We will see how she behaves on this trip. It should tell us everything we need to know.”
Ren: “Hold on, what are you alluding to, Elyse?” She looks over.
Elyse: “Whatever do you mean, babes?”
“Elyse is usually vocal and has no problem speaking her mind, I have no idea why she’s making these ominous little statements about people hiding things and beating around the bush.”
Ren: “You keep saying people in our circle are keeping secrets, who are you talking about?” She pulls a flask out of her Chanel bag and takes a swig. “Just say it.”
Lauren looks over at Ren.
“Nothing says girl trip like a flask in a Chanel bag.”
Elyse nonchalantly shrugs and puts her sunglasses on.
Elyse: “Just wait.”
The scene now switches to a different car driving through the desert. We get an inside view and Olivia and Lorelei sit in the back, chatting.
Lorelei: “Girl… I couldn’t believe that damn baby on the flight.”
Olivia: “I think my ears are started bleeding halfway through the flight.”
The two laugh.
“I’m happy to be invited on this trip to Elyse’s desert house. I think a little quality girls time is just what this group of women need. We’ve all kind of had some drama with one another and I hope this helps air some of it out.”
Lorelei: “So, how are you feeling about the trip overall?”
Olivia: “I’m honestly not that excited. How Ashantai switched up on me when I had her back previously. She really proved that what the others were saying about her was completely true. She is not someone I want to be around.”
“My friends are classy with a side of sassy. Not trashy with a side of ashy like Ashantai.”
Lorelei looks over at Olivia, nodding her head.
Lorelei: “I understand. That party was so nice until she started acting out of character. I like her alot, I do. But I have no clue what was wrong that night. There was just so much tension at the dinner.” She sighs and rolls her eyes. “Now don’t even get me started on Ren and I. I know that’s your girl and you have ties and loyalty to her. But…I really do not like her.” She shrugs.
Olivia: “Well Ren and I have a rocky friendship ourselves. It’s very much hot and cold. I can’t do the tardiness, I find it rude. Between her always being late and Ashantai always running away early…it’s getting to be really annoying.”
Lorelei: “Right! Okay, great. I’m just not trying to have you in the middle or picking sides.” She laughs. “I have a problem with Ren and you have one with Ashantai. This shall be an interesting trip…”
“I really enjoy Olivia’s company and I really am getting close with her. I appreciate that we can be so transparent with one another. It’s nice.”
Olivia: “Ashantai was fine when we hung out with her but the way she snapped at me at dinner just put a bad taste in my mouth. She’s a weirdo! I can’t take the broke bitch behavior, I’m sorry!”
The scene fades out as the two women laugh together.
Lorelei & Olivia’s car pulls up to Elyse’s fabulous house. The girls unload their luggage and make their way to the front door and walk in.
Olivia: “THE FUN GIRLS HAVE ARRIVED!” She sings in an opera voice.
Lorelei: “Where is everyone?” She laughs.
“I’m not really excited to see Ren. I haven’t seen her since my party and to be honest, I’m not looking forward to being on the trip with her. I just need to avoid her like the plague. She looks like a flesh eating parasite anyways.” She laughs.
Olivia: “LAUREN! REN! ELYSE?!”
“Where are these bitches? Did we beat them? If so, I’m most definitely claiming the Master!”
Footsteps are heard, eventually Ren, Consuela, Elyse, and Lauren appear on the top floor and start heading down the stairs.
Elyse: “Ladies! You’ve arrived!” She squeals. “My apologizes, I was just giving them a tour. Big house, takes a second to get everywhere.”
Ren: “Welcome! Welcome!”
Olivia: “Yes girls! Let’s get this party started.” She hugs Elyse, Ren, and Lauren when they come down.
Lauren: “Hey Olivia!! Glad you guys made it. This place is so nice.”
Olivia: “You ready to have some fun honey? We stopped at the liquor store and grabbed some Henny.”
Lauren: “Yes! We will be drinking all of that,. I am ready for a fun vacation.” She now goes over and hugs Lorelei.
Lorelei: “Hey babe. Wait, where's Ashantai?” She looks around.
Lorelei looks at Olivia and smiles a little.
Lorelei: “Girl, stop. You guys are going to be alright.”
Elyse: “Ashantai will be here tomorrow morning. Now let me show you girls to your rooms, we have about an hour and a half to drink a little and get ready because we are going to a fabulous vineyard called the Page Springs Vineyard! Dinner will follow.”
Ren: “Lorelei, Consuela can show you to your room in the basement. You have the room with bunkbeds.” The camera now zooms in on Ren’s maid, Consuela, who stands next to Ren, holding her drink and smiling.
Elyse: “Ren! Play nice…”
“What? I figured she needed an extra bunk for that giant fake ass that she’s hauling around and theres a room with bunkbeds in the basement!”
Lorelei looks at Ren but laughs it off.
Lorelei: “Already? Wow.”
“We’re not even 5 minutes into the trip and the claws are out.” She grins. “How fun.”
Olivia is shown giving Ren a look.
“Didn’t Elyse plan this trip, and isn’t this Elyse’s house? I’m confused why Ren is assigning rooms. But hey, at least it’s not me.”
Lorelei: “I can tell you right now. I’m not sleeping in the basement. I’ll purchase a hotel suite for the trip if that’s the case. I am a grown woman.” She shrugs. “I’m not sleeping on a twin bed.”
Elyse: “It’s okay! You don’t have to sleep in the basement. But the room is fabulous…”
“I am not going to speak up but Elyse did say someone should volunteer for the basement room…” She giggles.
Ren: “You’re assigned to the basement. Period.”
Lorelei turns to Ren, clearly agitated.
Lorelei: “Girl, fuck you. You’re such a fan and it shows.”
Elyse: “Woah, woah, woah! Girls…cool it.” She gets in between the two. “Let’s all just settle down.”
Lauren: “The bottom bunks are actually very large, Lorelei! The room down there is quite lovely. Just check it out.”
“I’ve been travelling for half the day. I just want a bed and not be banished to the basement. Ren loves playing this little games to jab at me. I know it’s not a big deal but I’m tired. I want to take a shower. I’m just so over this.”
Lorelei shrugs and flips her hair, in front of Ren. Ren lets out a dramatic gasp.
Ren: “Woooow, you’re angry? Go on and flip your extensions some more.”
“The girls are fighting!” She laughs and claps her hands. “Y’all know I live for this mess when I’m not in the mix.”
Elyse: “Wait a minute! Ren…don’t be a meanie. Now let me go show Lorelei and Olivia their rooms. Upstairs. Everyone needs to start getting ready for the vineyard!”
Ren: “Perfect. I’m going to need alot of drinks tonight.”
The scene ends with Olivia and Lorelei following Elyse upstairs.
The scene opens up with a Mercedes Sprinter pulling up to the Page Springs Vineyard. All of the ladies get out and walk into the main room of the building. Inside, hundreds of bottles of expensive wine are displayed. Lauren looks around.
Lorelei stands next to Olivia and turns to her.
Lorelei: “I’m ready to have some fun tonight and taste some nice wine.”
The camera zooms in on Ren who is grinning ear from ear.
“Today we are doing one of my favorite things in the world…drinking! I won’t let anyone or anything ruin this, especially Lorelei’s tacky dress. I really don’t know why she is wearing a bright yellow cocktail dress to an outdoor wine tasting but she’s a clear example that you can’t buy class.”
The sommelier greets all the women. He explains how the wine tasting will work. He then ushers them out to a private table on a deck that overlooks the vineyard. He goes inside to get the first round.
Ren: “I’m so ready for this, I wish they had shots. Luckily, I brought my flask.” Elyse, Lauren, and Olivia laugh.
Elyse: “Now I’m just wondering what sort of wine we are indulging in today? Only the finest I presume. My palette is waiting!”
The sommelier brings out the first round of wine. The girls begin the tasting. Lorelei takes a small sip.
Lorelei: “This is nice.”
Lauren smells the wine.
Lauren: “Mmm, this one will be sweet.” She takes a sip.
“I am ready to get this party started! I needed this free wine and Ren’s flask.”
The camera focuses on Ren as she sips the first wine.
Ren: “Wow. I can tell this is a Bordeaux imported from one of my favorite vineyards, Ladeux, in the south of France. So good!”
The girls are seen tasting various wines and indulging in them, everyone getting along.
“Wine. It always brings the girls together.” She laughs. “Now in my experience…” She leans in and whispers to the camera. “It brings us together in more ways than one.”
Lorelei is seen finishing a glass of wine.
Lorelei: “This one is nice! I love a good Pinot.”
Olivia: “Pinot is everything!”
“This trip has been pleasant so far without Ashantai here. Maybe she won’t show up! All I can do is hope and pray that she doesn’t find someone to hitch a ride from.” She smiles.
Ren: “Okay…I have something I need to bring up in front of everyone because I’m starting to get tipsy and I don’t like secrets.”
The pleasant music changes to suspenseful music as the entire table looks at Ren.
Olivia: “What’s going on Ren?”
Elyse: “Uh oh! Ring the alarm!”
Ren: “Elyse.” She turns to Elyse. “I love you but in the car on the way over, you eluded that women in our circle are keeping secrets and I think it’s important that we let everything out in the open. You seem to know something about someone here, why not just be open and honest?”
Olivia: “Oh lord…here we go.”
Lauren rolls her eyes.
Lauren: “Ren, let it go. We all have private matters in our lives, including you. Can’t we just have a fun trip?”
Lorelei looks at Ren and raises an eyebrow, she then looks at Elyse.
Elyse: “Well, all of us have secrets I’m sure. Some things we just don’t know about each other. Let’s just go around and share something. Let’s start with you, Ren!”
Ignoring Elyse’s attempt to deflect, Ren death glares her.
Ren: “I want Elyse to tell me what she knows about Lorelei. I feel like she isn’t being honest with this group. Let’s be real guys.”
Lorelei looks at Ren and laughs.
Lorelei: “What the hell is your obsession with me? Girl, dust! You get nothing from me today. You’re so thirsty.” She takes a sip of wine and looks away. “Bum.”
Elyse: “When did I mention Lorelei?” She looks at Ren, confused.
Ren just leans back in her chair, frustrated, and sips her wine.
Olivia: “Elyse knows something about Lorelei? I hope Elyse isn’t back on her messy shit.”
Lorelei turns to Elyse.
Lorelei: “She’s just being messy. Look at her, throwing you under the bus. We would’ve never known you said anything until she brought it up. Fake! You’re friends with someone like that? Ew.” She gags and countinues drinking.
“I think it was extremely messy of Ren to throw Elyse under the bus like that. If you’re ‘friends’ with someone, how do you just throw them under the bus in front of everyone?”
Olivia: “ Elyse shouldn’t even be talking about you to Ren though, Lorelei.”
Elyse: “I wasn’t even talking about Lorelei though!”
Ren: “I’m not throwing Elyse under the bus. She never said names.”
Olivia: “Well you just said Elyse knows something about Lorelei?”
Ren: “Listen — While we were at dinner the other night at Lorelei’s… Lorelei locked herself in the bathroom and production was guarding the door, two days later Elyse is speaking about secrets. I can only imagine it’s about this fake ass bitch Lorelei.” She shoots a look at Lorelei.
“At the couple’s dinner, we had finished shooting for the day. We were all getting de-micced and getting ready to go home. Members of the production team went inside to try to find Lorelei since she was pretty drunk that night. I went into the lower level of the house to use Lorelei’s bathroom before I left. Elyse and member of production were walking away from the bathroom, quickly. I was told to turn around and use the upstairs restroom. Two members of the production team stood in front of the door the entire time we were there.
The camera zooms in on Lauren who watches the entire exchange, bored.
“I just want to have some fun and get away from my marriage drama. This little feud between Ren and Lorelei is just not interesting to me in the slightest.”
Lorelei: “You’re really starting to piss me off.” She glares at Ren.
Olivia: “Lorelei! Ren! Please just get along! I adore you both.”
Ren: “I just don’t want any fakeness in this group.”
Olivia: “I don’t think Lorelei is fake.” She looks to Elyse. “Girl, you really need to speak up.”
“Elyse clearly poked her nose where it didn't belong and has pushed the wedge even further in their relationship. The girl is a sneak.”
Lorelei: “Thank you, Olivia! Fuck this ugly ass woman.” She points to Ren. “She and I will never be friends. She’s been so jealous of me since the moment I arrived in Beverly Beach. Now she’s trying to make assumptions about me based on no evidence? Girl bye.”
Elyse: “First of all, Ren. I love you baby but don’t assume just because I mentioned secrets it has anything to do with any of the ladies here.”
“It could even be about you, Olivia.” She laughs and sips her Pinot.
Olivia: “Excuse me, Elyse? Be careful about mentioning me because we can talk about secrets concerning you too.”
Elyse: “You’re excused. Were you leaving?”
Lauren: “Guys, can we not just drop the drama for ONE night? This is being blown out of proportion. It was not about anybody here. Elyse made a general comment on the way to her house and Ren is just trying to figure out who she is talking about. I was there.”
Lorelei: “This is so messy. Wow.” She shakes her head.
Ren: “First off, everything about Lorelei’s botched body is FAKE. You want to be me so bad and you think buying friends will get you there. You’re pathetic. Keep sucking your stepsons dick, bitch.”
Olivia and Lorelei both gasp. Lauren looks down and Elyse is at a loss for words.
Lorelei: “Excuse me?”
Olivia: “Ren, that was really low.”
Lorelei gets up from her seat and starts walking towards Ren.
Lorelei: “What’d you say?”
Ren remains seated and puts a hand up to Lorelei who is now standing beside her.
Ren: “I’m done talking to you. You’re beneath me.”
Olivia starts to get up and walk over to Lorelei.
Olivia: “Lorelei, wait.”
All of a sudden, Lorelei grabs a wine glass from the table and pours it on Ren’s head, drenching her. She then slings the glass at Ren’s torso. Wine and glass shower the table, Olivia squeals.
Lorelei: “Do you hear this shit? I AM MARRIED!”
Olivia: “Oh my GOD!”
Lorelei: “Ren, keep your fucking mouth shut about me and my family.”
Ren springs up from her seat and grabs a fistful of Lorelei’s hair and yanks it, sending Lorelei straight to the ground. People at the vineyard now watch horrified as Ren gets ontop of Lorelei and starts punching her. The girls are all screaming, Olivia and Production rush in trying to get Ren off of Lorelei.
Elyse: “No, no, no… DON’T!”
Lauren: “STOP! REN! LET HER GO!”
Trying to break up the fight, Olivia gets elbowed by Ren and she runs off. It takes multiple members of production and security to get Ren and Lorelei separated, looking rough, Lorelei starts laughing. She is now being hauled in the opposite direction by producers.
Lorelei: “So she just attacked me?! I’m done. She’s making up lies about me and my family?! I’m done. I’m done.” Producers try to calm her down, she turns to the camera following her. “That bitch will be catching a hefty lawsuit.” She puts her hair in a ponytail and wipes the blood off of her eyebrow, clearly trying to hold back tears. “I’ve never been attacked like that in my life.”
“For her to put her hands on me after she was spewing out those allegations…Oh I’m done. She’s done. This was the lowest of lows. She’s so ‘Beverly Beach’ but she’s pulling my hair and punching me? Extremely ghetto, hood rat bitch, behavior.”
As Ren is being pulled off in the other direction, she holds up a handful of Lorelei’s extensions.
Ren: “Don’t ever invade my space you stupid CUNT!” She waves the extensions in the air. “I’m going back to the fucking cabin. Get me Consuela.”
“How DARE you throw wine in my face at a vineyard. I wasn’t letting her get away with that. I had to fuck her up.”
Lauren stands at the table, still holding a wine glass and talking to a member of Production.
Lauren: “I- I- I just have no clue what happened. I’m still in shock.”
Olivia walks out of the bathroom, two producers walk with her to check on her. She approaches Lauren.
Olivia: “Oh my god. That was insanity. I had to go dry off…”
Lauren: “What the hell was that? Ren is so bothered by Lorelei. Do you know why?”
Olivia: “Your guess is as good as mine but it’s really not a good look. Ren needs a reality check and we may have to be the ones to give it to her. I’m just… appalled at this behavior! Did she really just do that? Since when does Ren fight?”
“I’ve been enjoying getting along with Ren this year, but if I’m going to have to be the one to step up and address the toxicity; I’ve done it before and I don’t mind doing it again. The obsessive hatred and now putting your hands on Lorelei? That’s beyond. I’m not afraid of Ren.
Elyse walks over to Lauren and Olivia, shaking her head.
Elyse: “Such a bad look.”
Lauren finishes scrubbing her wine stained shirt with a paper towel.
Lauren: “Good thing I wore black. Either Ren knows something that we don’t or she needs a reality check on her behavior towards Lorelei.”
Elyse: “Let’s just get out of here.”
The camera shows the ruined table and onlookers still trying to figure out what happened. The scene switches to Lorelei arriving back to Elyse’s house alone. She goes to her room and begins packing her bag. She tries to get to the bathroom and has to push a camera out of the way.
Lorelei: “Can you guys just… not.” She has clearly been crying.
“I don’t know what my future with the women holds. I’m just extremely upset and hurt over this fight and the fact that none of the others came to my defense, even Elyse. They can all go to hell.” She shrugs, wiping a tear away. “I feel attacked. I feel ambushed.”